MRE for ME

Friday night I had my very first MRE. The big bag said "Beef Ravioli". But it was oh-so-much more than just that.

I had no idea that there would be so much stuff in there! Kent said, "you know it's more than just ravioli in there?" and I said "No?" I opened it and much to my surprise...I had ravioli, fruit salad, vegetable crackers, cheese spread, a chocolate chip brownie, orange drink mix, instant coffee, tabasco and various accessories. I was so excited! It was like an adventure opening it.

(Pictured above: Not actually what was in my MRE, but an example)

Oh yeah, and it also had this self-heating bag (the green thing in the picture above) to heat it in. I decided to heat it in the microwave though because I'm sort of lazy. Turns out that was a bad idea because when I opened the microwave to take the food out a hot piece of meat popped out and burned me on the chin. Then my dog, the cokes, ate it and burned her little mouthy. Poor poochy.

Anyway, it was really good. If they didn't have a google calories in each pack I would want to buy MREs to eat for dinner every night.

Speaking of MREs (actually I have no idea if this even has an MRE in it) I want to see the movie Jarhead.

I need to be a neater eater...

Today, I stuck my finger in my ear to scratch it or whatever I do with my finger in my ear and do you know what came out? A toasted sesame seed - and I don't remember the last time I ate sesame seeds. I know it wasn't this week. Maybe instead of eating neater I need to clean my ears more. Or maybe, I need to stop revealing my personal hygiene habits to all of the internet, being as my last post mentioned my lack of flossing.

By the by...I'm posting more because I'm in a better mood because my current job (unlike my previous job) doesn't make me want to strangle someone.

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you, Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you, But in your dreams, whatever they be, Dream a little dream of me-

- or of teeth.

The night before last I had a dream that I've dreamt oh-so-many times. Surprise, surprise, my teeth are falling out. All of the sudden out of nowhere, I can feel with my tongue that all of my teeth are loose. Just like when I was a kid, I try to twist them with my tongue, but they won't twist, even though they're all hanging by a thread. I don't go to the dentist. I'm just desperate to get them out of my mouth. I continue to wiggle them with my tongue and then try to spit some out. What I spit into my hand is a handful of tooth pieces and splinters, absolutely no whole teeth. I'm horrified and know that I will never be able to get them repaired because it's too expensive. Then I wake up and feel around with my tongue to make sure my teeth are all there.

According to a dream interpretation website teeth dreams:

"...might have a physical origin in people gritting or grinding teeth during sleep. Freud suggested that dreams of teeth falling out are related to fears of castration, but women have this dream as often as men, Garfield says. She believes the tooth troubles in dreams are related to anger, with a dreamer acting out the clenching of his teeth. Other psychologists believe the dream reflects anxiety about appearance and how others perceive you."

I think it might be from the fact that I eat too much candy and I never floss. Seriously, when I go to the dentist and they ask me how often I floss, I actually say, "I don't floss, except for right before I come here."

Unga...me work in time warp

So, my new job...it's just what I wanted. Less stress, less responsibility, just less. What's funny is that I feel like I'm in the stone age because I do not have a computer. Have you ever heard of a management position without a computer? Weird. But, I don't really care. It's almost relaxing to write with a pen. Besides, the less tools I have, the less work I can do, right?

Allllll-right

No more cha-cha-cha

My dog's bowel movements are back to normal! YAY! I'd taken her to the vet on Friday for some problems she was having. The doc said it was from stress. This morning she pooped a solid one. I was so excited (I am so pathetic). So, I'm happy today.

City of Separation

Kent and I are in Lafayette this weekend, actually until about 5 PM today. If we did not get a chance to see you I'm very sorry. This weekend was packed but I had a great time.

I am not good at making friends. I don't think I've made any new friends since Kellie back in 1998 if you don't count people who married into the "friendship" (maybe I'm forgetting someone, if I am it's not that I'm forgetting you, it's just that I am not good at remembering when things happen). This weekend Kellie and Gene and Stacey and Jeremy were in town. Plus, Kirstin and Jeremy D. already live here so I was so happy we could all hang out on Friday! I just don't think I'll ever make any other friends that I can just litterally, sit around with for hours. It just won't happen. I seriously don't think I'll meet anyone in New Orleans and then hang out at their house until 1 or 2 in the morning. You just can't talk about gas and vomit with nouveau friends (not that I have any. We did start to make friends with this one couple. We even went out to eat with them and it was great fun, but then the hurricane came and they never came back to New Orleans).

It was great seeing people at the football game too. I hadn't seen Brent in about 17 years so that was super fun. Some other people (namely one that my mom sent chocolate covered cherries to) I haven't seen in a long long time were not in town, so that would have made it complete.

So, the weekend is coming to a close. I know we'll see a lot of the people the next time we come to Lafayette (which is the end of November, btw). And I know we won't see a lot of them for 17 more years. Unless some of you move back to Louisiana and I would be stoked.

Time to end this mushy post.

What was my favorite result for "big beard" on google images?

See for yourself.

That center one really cracked me up!

Quizzes...oh yes, you do love them.

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro.You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's" Your Summer Ride?

Your Monster Profile

Undead Nightmare You Feast On: Armadillos You Lurk Around In: Roller Rinks You Especially Like to Torment: Blondes

What's" Your Monster Name?

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

20 Random Things You May Not Know About Me

1. I don't eat plain eggs (only eggs in cakes, cookies, etc.).
2. If my dog doesn't poop all day I get stressed out.
3. If I know my feet stink, I will purposely smell them several times before washing them.
4. Sometimes I rub my left eyebrow when I'm thinking.
5. I don't watch movies about demons or the devil (they give me nightmares).
6. I'd like it if the "bad guy", in movies, could win more often.
7. When I'm alone in the car I try to identify what make and model the cars around me are before I get close enough to read it. When I'm right, I actually say, in a whisper, "Yes!"
8. Jello, yogurt and (more than two bites) pudding make me physically gag.
9. I can't throw away glass jars.
10. When I meet someone new I rarely realize they're telling me their name. When I walk away I think, "I have no idea what she just said her name is."
11. I love the smell of school bus exhaust. I think it smells like potato salad and it makes me hungry.
12. I love to look up images on google.
13. I used to want to be a Marine Biologist.
14. Sometimes when I walk behind someone who's smoking I enjoy the smell and continue walking behind them. Other times it makes me feel sick.
15. I go to sporting events for the concessions.
16. I forget to wear deodorant at least once a week.
17. I like seeing really big spiders and I won't kill them because once, when I was a kid we killed a big spider and its babies went everywhere. Laura and I were really sad for them and we put a big rubber spider where the momma was so maybe the babies would feel better.
18. I am afraid of roaches laying eggs in my ears.
19. Sometimes I sing the national anthem, just because I feel like it.
20. I can't help but look if someone's cards are in full view. But then I'll throw them whatever they need rather than what I need because I feel guilty.

I'm sorry you caught me accidentally trying to steal your dog.

I saw a Rat Terrier (dog) that I'd never seen before running around in our neighborhood last weekend. It was cute, but I didn't try to catch it. Of course, the next day I see signs posted all over:

LOST RAT TERRIER

WHITE WITH BLACK SPOTS

SICK - NEEDS MEDICATION

NAME - ROXIE

That always happens, every time I decide not to catch a stray dog, I find a sign that someone is missing it. So, I felt bad, but I moved on.

Thursday, I came home from locking up the buildings at work and there was that same Rat Terrier running around the street. So, I decided I would catch it and call her owner. So I parked the car in our driveway, got out, and said:

"Come 'ere, Come on little pup, Come see."

She just stared at me. So, I squatted down and while tapping my leg (which most dogs associate with come) said:

"Awe...come 'ere. Come see. Come on."

She began to wag her tail and look really excited. So, then I decided to clap my hands a few times and call her again:

CLAP CLAP CLAP

"Come on!"

That was her cue! She came running towards me. She only got about half way to me though when a man talking on a cordless phone stepped out from behind the bushes by his house. He looked at me (all irritated like), looked at his dog and told her:

"Let's go!"

And the dog ran back with him. I guess it wasn't Roxie.

I waved to the man as I stood up and tried to play it off like I was just trying to be friendly, but he didn't wave back. I guess I would have been pretty mad too if someone was trying to get my dog. Next time I try to catch a dog I'm going to make sure there aren't any people around.

So, anyway, Mr. Down the Street talks on a Cordless phone, I'm sorry you caught me accidentally trying to steal your dog.

So, I once wrote about how much I loved the Magic Bullet...

(btw...I had to backspace the title because I was typing "once" as "wants" weird.)

Well, now I'm going to tell you why I'm in love with the Magic Bullet:

• Because it makes the smoothest smoothies ever.

• Because it turns cubes of cheddar cheese into a cheese spread, allowing me to make an 8 oz block of cheese last for 4 meals! (Quesildillas (twice), Grilled Cheeses and Black Bean and Cheese burritos).

• Because when I cook black beans and then attempt to "refry" them to make them refried black beans only I can't mash them up as well as if I bought it canned I put them in the Magic Bullet and they come out PERFECTO!

• Because I can use left over juices from canned fruit! Pear juice, ice, magic bullet = amazing Pear Sorbet!

• Because it's so crazily fast! That pear sorbet I was talking about...seriously 45 seconds.

Magic Bullet, you are wonderful.

I had an AMAZING weekend!

Birds & Bats

All of the tree debris in Jefferson parish is being taken to our very own Lafreniere park. The mounds are HUGE! They are turning into mulch and you can smell it when you drive by. I think it smells good and I always take a big whiff. Anyway, there are alot of ducks, swans and cranes that live in that park and I was wondering where they went with all of those mountains of trees taking up their space. Kent thought they might not have made it through the storm, but then he spotted a great big group of them in one of the parking lots. It was really funny to me because it was like they were having a meeting deciding what to do about this mess in their park. I was glad to see there were alot of them still alive and that they were developing a plan of action.

Today, I saw a blue jay land on the fence with a whole pecan, in the shell, in his mouth. I wondered how he planned to crack it. That's a hard nut to crack. (not really, I just wanted to say that. Brazil nuts and chestnuts...now those are hard nuts to crack)

Kent, Coca and I went for a walk tonight and we walked behind the EJ stadium. We could hear bats squeaking. At first I though, "Oh Neat!!" Then I got a little weirded out and imagined them attacking us.

Thinking of becoming a vegetarian?

The secret life of moody cows

11 Months, 2 Weeks and 1 Day

Well, I put in my two weeks notice today. But, I did set a new record for myself. On my last day (which will be October 28th, by the way)I will have worked there for 11 Months, 2 Weeks and 1 Day. I've accepted a job at another property management company, residential property management. I'll provide more details later, but Kent and I both think its the right move.

YAY!

What Rock Band Am I?

You're the Yeah Yeah Yeahs!
You can't really predict what song they'll come up with next!


What Rock Band Are you? ( Updated )
brought to you by Quizilla

There's something in the water...

Why do soap opera characters get amnesia or go in to comas so often? If I lived in that imaginary city I would think something is very wrong. It is not normal for that many people to have amnesia or go into a coma.

The writers should give them Lock Jaw or Scabies just to "mix it up" a little.

I Iike them?

I know alot of songs. Kent calls me the human juke box. The thing is, I can sing almost any song, but I never know who actually sings them. In fact, as songs I like would come on the radio I'd ask Kent "who sings that?" (He always knows) and I've learned that I am a fan of bands that I really didn't think I even liked. Here they are, in the order in which their pictures were saved to our hard drive.

Jackets

I wore a jacket today!! In Louisiana...New Orleans, Louisiana. It was wonderful. I even got wind burn on my lips

Here's some new stuff in J & J Caperton Land:
If I make a constant "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound while Kent grabs my back and shakes me. I can't help it, I have to laugh. I try so hard not to laugh, but I just can't do it. It's like an automatic laugh button. If I don't make the sound then I don't laugh. There's just something about the combination of "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and a good shaking that CRACKS ME UP!

We are having a gnat problem. In the yard, in the kitchen, in our room, by the trash....gnats, ugh. I really don't know what to do about them. If you can remember the fly incident you know how bug infestations get me worked up. If you don't know the fly incident here's a recap:

Kent and I were getting ready to leave for vacation about 2 years ago. We were living in Lafayette in the townhouse. First of all we kept smelling something REALLY, REALLY stinky. I thought it was something dead in the wall (it wasn't, but that's another story for another post...well not really it's not that long. It turns out that the stinky smell was actually the water heater, located in a closet in our bedroom. The plug had been burning up, everyday as the water heater heated water. It even burned in our sleep! Very, scarry, but at the time of the flies we didn't know that was the problem). So, anyway I'd killed so many flies that day...seriously I think the total was 29. I thought that something was dead in the wall and the flies were feeding on it. I was so grossed out and I was losing it. The final straw was when I smacked a fly on a light fixture and the fixture broke in half. I then called Kent at work with that familiar "I was bluh blah blah boo hoo hoo and then I boo hoo blahh wahh" combination of crying and talking that he and my mom know so well. I'd finally freaked out and was crying and crying because I couldn't kill all the flies. There were just too many. He told me to get out of the house, but unfortunately my car was kaput at that time...Infestations...not my thing. As if anyone really digs a bug infestation? "Man, I'd really like alot of ants in my house!"

I don't understand why so many refridgerators are being thrown away just because they had moldy food. They're just put out by the street and taped shut. I'd understand if they were flooded or in a house that's been flooded, but alot of the ones I've seen aren't. Clean it out. Yeah, its gross, but it's over in just an hour or so and you don't have to waste a whole appliance. It's all I can do to keep myself from picking them up off the side of the road. I love trash.

Should I move on?

Today, as I sat in a hot parking garage, having just called someone to find out when I could come vacuum their office, I got another call asking that I come remove the trash from their office. Last week I splashed toilet water all over me as I tried to unclog the toilet in a Women's Clinic. That same day, I cleaned out ash trays. It was really special.

We all have to do a little extra since we're short handed due to the hurricane.

The weird thing is that the janitorial work I've done in the last few days have been the only good parts of my job (besides actually having a job) in the last three months. To me, there's something so much more satisfying about seeing clean sand in an ash tray than reporting why we were off budget by 5% in the month of July. Plus, when I'm doing janitorial work I'm all alone and that's how I prefer to work...in silence.

Oh Internet...I love you

WE HAVE THE INTERNET BACK! It had evacuated for the hurricane but now it's back. Safe and Sound. YAY!

Questions from a Comedien

I once heard a comedien ask why, with all of the technological advances of the 21st century, can someone not invent something better than tennis balls for the elderly to put on the back feet of a walker. Of course I cracked up laughing, thinking that was so true!! Hilarious! Today, however, with the power out for many hours I thought about why indeed isn't there something better than tennis balls for walkers. Maybe I should invent something. Upon further thought I decided there may just be a real reason for not making something like that. The whole purpose of a walker is to steady a person who has trouble walking, right? The purpose of putting those tennis balls on a walker is to make it slide more easily, right? Now, if someone already has trouble walking do you really want to make their walker slide easily? I mean, there they are trying to pull themselves out of their recliner and ... whoops! The walker and the person go sliding across the floor because the back feet of the walker have no grip. To me, tennis balls on a walker may not be a great idea after all. I think it sounds like any company that would produce something like this may have a lawsuit on their hands. I did find a company that made a product to help walkers slide though. I guess it really just depends on the capabilities of the person using the walker.

Anyway if you just have tons of extra tennis balls and don't want to use them to help the elderly in their wish to slide here are some other interesting uses I've found on the internet:

• Store valuables. Make a two-inch slit along one seam of a Wilson Tennis Ball, then place valuables inside. If you hide the doctored tennis ball among your other sports equipment, remember not to use it.

• Fluff your down jacket in the dryer and reduce static cling. Throw in a handful of Wilson Tennis Balls to fluff the down while the jacket is tumbling in the dryer.

• Childproof the sharp corners of furniture. Cut old Wilson Tennis Balls in half or quarters and use Scotch Packaging Tape to tape the sections over sharp corners of coffee tables, end tables, cabinets, dining room tables, and other pieces of furniture that might be dangerous to a small child. Plus your house will really be high style with tennis balls on all your furniture corners.
  

• Make parking cars in your garage easier. Hang a Wilson Tennis Ball on a string from the garage ceiling so it will hit the windshield at the spot where you should stop your car.

• Prevent a chrome trailer hitch from getting scratched. Slit a Wilson Tennis Ball and put it over the trailer hitch as a protective cover. That would look awesome on a loaded Ford F250...the tennis ball would really bring out the rugged character of the truck.
  

• Give yourself a foot massage. Roll your foot over a Wilson Tennis Ball.

• Make a back massager. Put several Wilson Tennis Balls inside a sock and tie at the end. This is frequently used by the labor coach to massage the back of a woman in labor.

• Remove cobwebs from unreachable places. Wrap a Wilson Tennis Ball inside a dust cloth secured with a few rubber bands, then toss at the distant cobweb. I don't know why housekeepers all over the US aren't jumping on this one.
  

• Play "basket tennis." Remove the bottom from an empty coffee can, and nail the can above the garage door. Use a Wilson Tennis Ball to play basketball.

• Strengthen your grip. Squeeze a Wilson Tennis Ball in each hand.

• Prevent snoring. Sew a Wilson Tennis Ball inside a pocket on the back of your pajama top to prevent you from sleeping on your back. Prevent snoring - Produce Anger
  

• Prevent a deck chair from slipping through the cracks of a dock. Slit four Wilson Tennis Balls and fit them on the feet of the deck chair.

• Keep your car door open without wasting the battery. Wedge a Wilson Tennis Ball into the door jamb to depress the interior light switch.

My Gas Ring

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Battle Savage Your Superpower is Psychic Your Weakness is Cowboys Your Weapon is Your Gas Ring Your Mode of Transportation is Hovercraft

What's your Superhero Name?

Capertons on the Move

Jefferson parish has these signs they put up during street repairs, or road extensions, whatever that say "Jefferson Parish on the Move." I think they should hand out bumper stickers that say that.

Kent and I, after being in town for 26 hours, have left again. I know there will not be a direct hit from Rita, but 6 inches of rain could break the levees again. Since it was already so close to the weekend, and it's just the two of us, we figured it's not that hard for us to just get out again. So, we're in Zachary. No levees, no big lakes, no river...we're inland.

I cleaned out the refridgerator yesterday. GUH-ROSS!!! I had to clean a lot of mold. It was so stinky! This time we took all of our refridgerated food with us. Plus we'd just gone grocery shopping yesterday and we didn't want to waste all of that food.

Anyway, Southeast Texans and Southwest Louisianians...I will say a prayer for you.

Stay Safe.

Heading Back Home

As you probably read on Kent's blog we are once again saying "goodbye" to Lafayette and heading back to "Met-tree," as we lovingly call it. I have slightly mixed emotions about going back. I'm ready to be back home, back to somewhat normal. We both love it there and are anxious to live there again. However, I'm not ready to be working in the same environment as usual. The "bosses" in my company are quite harsh. I don't like it.

As an added bonus, the environmental inspectors found ecoli in my office!! How awesome is that. Now, not only do I get to work around grouches, I also get to work around a deadly bacteria. It's really just amazing.

Actually, I'm very very very thankful for this job. They've let me continue working through the whole evacuation and everything and that's been good. It's really the perfect job for our current situation as far as compensation and benefits are concerned. It's just kind of a downer environment. I'll deal with it though. I should just spend less time complaining about it and more time being thankful that God gave me this job. It is what we need at this time.

We leave on Wednesday and will have a few houseguests when we get back. I am excited about that. I've enjoyed living with people in the past and now we'll get to experience it from the other side.

It's been fun hanging out in Lafayette. Thanks for the good times and I guess we'll see all you Lafayettians at Thanksgiving.

Quizzes

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a multi dimensional wonderland, with many layers. You're the type that always has multiple streams of thought going. And you can keep these thoughts going at any time. You're very likely to be engaged in deep thought - and deep conversation.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Mmm...about 50% me. Deep conversation - Rarely. Deep thought - always

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. Your friends tend to be a as quirky as you are - which is saying a lot! Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Pretty accurate I think.

How Observant are you? B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

I was actually hoping to be a little more observant than a B-

Perfect...A Cold

I have a Cold so I am Les Miserable. My voice tends to get a little deep when I have a cold so it's kind of cool to sing like a man. I called my mom yesterday and she answered the phone and I said, "Mommy?" She said, "What?" I said, "Is this my mommy?" She said, "I don't think so. This is ________ _________ . You might have the wrong number." I said, "YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN CHILD'S VOICE!" Then she new the obnoxious shriek was me. I wasn't hurt, just thought it was funny.

We are in Lafayette now. It's cool because Kellie just happened to be here too! It's been fun to see her. We also saw Damon and Erica's new house yesterday. Very nice! I am excited for them. Onnie sat on my lap! We saw Beth and Korrie too. I finally got to meet Brian who comments on this blog sometimes. I've only known him through his blog. We've also gotten to see Drew and Kristy's house too. Also very nice! I am excited for them too. I had lunch with Kirstin yesterday, so that was super cool.

My car, that I've been putting off fixing for like 2 months, is finally fixed! YAY! It needed new CV joints. Aww Car...

Anyway, the pressure inside my head and nose is getting unbearable. I don't take cold medication because even if its non-drowsy it makes me have a medicine head. Plus, any thing with that Sudafedrine (I think that's how you spell it) sometimes makes me have heart palpitations. So, I stick to Cold Eeze losenges, Afrin, steamy showers and hot tea.

I miss my pup!

Coca is our baby! I haven't had her in about 5 days! I really miss her. I talked to her on the phone this morning and bought her a new dress on Thursday. Can't wait to see ya Cokes!

Dave Berry

I think Dave Berry is very funny. I was a fan of The Dave Berry Show based on the humor of Dave Berry. Unfortunately that show was cancelled (btw...the house in that show is the same house now used on Yes, Dear, as far as I can tell anyway) and I'm forced to read his column when I happen to catch it (we don't get the newspaper) or flip through his books at B&N. I read the following article in The Advocate yesterday although this particular article is several years old. I found it very humourous and enjoyed the comic relief. I hope you like it too:

We're just a few dinosaurs short of a full tank
BY DAVE BARRY
(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on April 16, 2000.)

If you've been to a gas station lately, you have no doubt been shocked by the prices: $1.67, $1.78, even $1.92. And that's just for Hostess Twinkies. Gas prices are even worse.

Americans are ticked off about this, and with good reason: Our rights are being violated! The First Amendment clearly states: 'In addition to freedom of speech, Americans shall always have low gasoline prices, so they can drive around in `sport utility' vehicles the size of minor planets.''

And don't let any so-called ''economists'' try to tell you that foreigners pay more for gas than we do. Foreigners use metric gasoline, which is sold in foreign units called ''kilometers,'' plus they are paying for it with foreign currencies such as the ''franc,'' the ''lira'' and the ''doubloon.'' So in fact there is no mathematical way to tell WHAT they are paying.

But here in the U.S., we are definitely getting messed over, and the question is: What are we going to do about it? Step one, of course, is to file a class-action lawsuit against the cigarette companies. They have nothing to do with gasoline, but juries really hate them, so we'd probably win several hundred billion dollars.

But that is a short-term answer. To truly solve this problem, we must understand how the oil business works. Like most Americans, you probably think that gasoline comes from the pump at the gas station. Ha ha! What an idiot. In fact, the gasoline comes from tanks located UNDER the gas station.

These tanks are connected to underground pipelines, which carry large oil tankers filled with oil from the Middle East.

But how did the oil get in the Middle East in the first place? To answer that question, we must go back millions of years, to an era that geologists call the Voracious Period, when giant dinosaurs roamed the Earth, eating everything that stood in their path, except for broccoli, which they hated.

And then, one fateful day (Oct. 8), a runaway asteroid, believed by scientists to be nearly twice the diameter of the late Orson Welles, slammed into the Earth and killed the dinosaurs, who by sheer bad luck all happened to be standing right where it landed. The massive impact turned the dinosaurs, via a process called photosynthesis, into oil; this oil was then gradually covered with a layer of sand, which in turn was gradually covered by a layer of people who hate each other, and thus the Middle East was formed.

For many years, the Middle East was content to supply the United States with as much oil as we wanted at fair constitutional prices. But then the
major oil-producing nations -- Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait and Texas -- got all snotty and formed an organization called OPEC, which stands for ''North Atlantic Treaty Organization.'' In the 1970s, OPEC decided to raise prices, and soon the United States was caught up in a serious crisis: The Disco Era.

It was horrible. You couldn't go to a bar or wedding reception without being ordered onto the dance floor to learn ``The Hustle.''

At the same time, we also had an oil crisis, which was caused by the fact that every motorist in the United States was determined to keep his or her automobile gas tank completely filled at all times. As soon as your gas gauge dropped from ''Full'' to ''Fifteen-sixteenths,'' you'd rush to a gas station and get in a huge line with hundreds of other motorists who also had nearly full tanks. Also a lot of people, including me, saved on heating oil by buying kerosene space heaters, which enabled us to transform a cold, dank room into a cold, dank room filled with kerosene fumes.

Buying gas and dancing ''The Hustle'' with people who smelled like kerosene: That was the '70s.

So anyway, the oil crisis finally ended, and over time we got rid of our Volkswagen Rabbits and replaced them with Chevrolet Suburbans boasting the same fuel economy as the Pentagon. Now, once again, we find ourselves facing rising gas prices, and the question is: This time, are we going to learn from the past? Are we finally going to get serious about energy conservation?

Of course not! We have the brains of mealworms! So we need to get more oil somehow. As far as I can figure, there's only one practical way to do this.

That's right: We need to clone more dinosaurs. We have the technology, as was shown in two blockbuster scientific movies, ''Jurassic Park'' and ''Jurassic Park Returns with Exactly the Same Plot.'' Once we have the dinosaurs, all we need is an asteroid. Or, if he is available, Michael Moore.

If this plan makes sense to you, double your medication dosage, then write to your congressperson. Do it now! That way you'll be busy when I siphon your tank.

Update on the update

So, now it looks like we are going to try to get into Jefferson Parish tomorrow. The line will probably be insane, but we'll see. I'm just glad we have something to go back to. This trip is just to gather items. We've been told to different things as far as returning for good...could be a week, could be a month. We just don't know yet.

Update

So maybe we won't be going in on Monday. It looks like they just don't have the resources for that yet.

13 out of 41 months of marriage we've lived with other people

Why should that stop now? About 32% of our married life has been spent living with either my parents, Kent's parents, or my grandparents. Now, we are staying with my parents again and soon we'll be headed to Lafayette. As of Tuesday, I'll be working out of our Lafayette office. I'm just so thankful that I'm still getting paid. A lot of people don't have an opportunity to temporarily transfer their job. We're especially blessed to not have to rent a hotel for that time. We have family.



About our house...I'm trying to stay positive. I talked to our landlord yesterday. He told us not to worry about rent this month since we couldn't live there anyway, which is great! That will help make up for the work Kent is missing. The landlord told me he heard from his friend that his house only had an inch of water in the garage. His house is raised like ours. He only lives about a mile closer to the city than us. So, that's good news. He also said that the school that's one street over from us had the roof torn off completely. So, that could mean our area may have had a lot of wind damage. We have a huge old oak tree and a great big pecan tree in our yard...so we'll just have to wait and see. Whatever happens I know we'll be okay and we'll make the best of it. God has not let us down yet and I'm sure he won't start now.

On a sadder note, I found out one of my co-workers had been trapped at his house for 4 days. He hadn't eaten anything. He finally got in touch with me yesterday and said he was on his way to the hospital to get some food. He said he thought he was going to die. The good news is that a team from our corporate office is on its way to Covington (this guy lives on the northshore-Slidell-and one of our buildings is attached to the hospital in Covington) right now with cash, gas and food for him and additional supplies and generators for the hospitals and others.

Brunson's Safe & Lock Co.

Brunson Safe & Lock Co
4137 Plank Rd
BATON ROUGE, LA 70805
Phone: (225) 356-3515

As you all know I'm in property management - the job that never stops. I'm technically still working even though I'm not in the city. Today, I had to copy building keys and overnight them to our main office. Commercial building keys can't just be copied at Wal-Mart or Home Depot. I had to go to a Locksmith. First of all, the keys say "Do Not Duplicate", so I had to explain the whole situation to the Locksmith and thankfully he said okay and copied them anyway. When he finished I held out my debit card and he said that debit cards are not working today. So, Kent and I pulled out our cash to pay him in cash, but he refused to take it. He would not accept our money because we are from New Orleans and he couldn't take it knowing all the problems we have there right now. We tried to insist on paying him, but he simply would not take it. So, Kent shook his hand and we thanked him. Although it wouldn't have broken us to pay for those keys, it was just a small example of the kindness being extended by this city and nieghboring communities to the evacuees from New Orleans.

WHAT??!!!

It's just unreal. Kent and I live in Jefferson Parish. I have no idea what our house looks like now. I get choked up just having read what I'm now posting. The following is from the WWL TV website:

****ALL RESIDENTS ON THE EAST BANK OF ORLEANS AND JEFFERSON REMAINING IN THE METRO AREA ARE BEING TOLD TO EVACUATE AS EFFORTS TO SANDBAG THE LEVEE BREAK HAVE ENDED. THE PUMPS IN THAT AREA ARE EXPECTED TO FAIL SOON AND 9 FEET OF WATER IS EXPECTED IN THE ENTIRE EAST BANK. WITHIN THE NEXT 12-15 HOURS****

The following was posted before the item you just read:
Jeff Parish President. Residents will probably be allowed back in town in a week, with identification only, but only to get essentials and clothing. You will then be asked to leave and not come back for one month.

I'm speechless.

Katrina Shelter - Donations Welcome

The Plains Presbyterian Church in Zachary, LA is opening as a shelter for Katrina refugees. If you have any mattresses, sleeping bags, pillows, towels, diapers or of course food that you'd like to donate. Please deliver to 22929 Old Scenic Hwy. Zachary, LA 70791. Phone: (225) 654-2960.

Hunkering Down

For those of you who may be wondering, Kent and I have evacuated to Z-town. We're here with my dad and mom, Laura, my oma and aunt Suzette. My grandma and grandpa just happened to be in FL so they stayed there. As far as I know Aunt Naomi, Uncle Alan and Crystal have left too. I worked all day Saturday.

The property management business gets pretty hectic with the threat of a major hurricane. I was WAY stressed.

Anyway, we left yesterday around 5:30, so I think we missed the worst of the traffic which is today. I'm so thankful that we have my parents' house to go to as there are no hotels available. I guess we'd have Kent's parents' house as well, if my parents didn't live here Zachary. We'd just have to be on the miserable interstate a little longer. Maybe Kent and I should invest in four-wheeler and ride in on that during evacuations. I bet you'd be moving faster than how fast they're moving on the interstate now.

I guess all we have left to do is to pray for the safety of those who couldn't leave. There are thousands of people in New Orleans who rely solely on public transportation. The superdome is open for them, but I still can't help but feel guilty that I'm here and they're not.

Just Two Good 'Ol Boys

Kent, Laura and I went and saw the Dukes of Hazzard last weekend. I REALLY liked it! Sometimes I don't know what is up with those critics. Two and a half stars...what..Well, maybe it had something to do with the fact that Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson are the worst actors that ever walked the planet. Other than that, it was great. A lot of it was filmed in and around Zachary which was even cooler. If you've seen the movie there's a kitchen that Uncle Jesse and Pauline are in. I took my first art lessons in that house. I could actually see the room I used to work in. Then there's a roadblock that is right next to the spot that I had a booth of my work in Downtown Clinton at the Clinton Street Market. Also, the bait shop is actually at the house of someone we know from Zachary. Very neat. Anyway, I liked the movie too. It was funny and had cool cars.

So I just found the NEATEST website!

Check it out kitties! Maybe I'll actually make friends!

Of Course it doesn't look so bad...

...now. Today's dinner was a force to be reckoned with. I, being the Donna Reed that I am, was hurriedly fixing dinner for my husband tonight because he had to leave for a meeting at 6:05. I am no good rushed. I produce a much higher quality work when I have no time constraints (but do I ever finish anything? No.) So, I decided to make Jambalya. Only I'd bought turkey sausage because it's better for us. Well, you have to thoroughly cook Turkey Sausage in the skillet. Uhg...So I'm following the directions. "Grease skillet...saute' sausage" Sounds easy, right? Yeah...first of all, the sausage looked gross! I don't think I've ever worked with raw sausage and I'm not sure that I will again. GAG! I put a link in the skillet and it immediately started splattering. So much so, that it splattered me on the eyelid with hot grease. So I grab my eye. Right at the same time Coca runs in and I call to Kent "PLEASE GRAB HER, SHE'LL GET BURNED!" In that same instant I knock a serrated knife off of the counter and into my "tallman" toe! The blood actually splattered...which freaked me out at first because I am so not good with blood. Kent ran off to look for a bandaid and I got brave enough to look closely at my toe (normally this would be Kent's or my mom's job. I will lose it if I have to tend to my own bloody injury). I realized it wasn't near as bad as when I dropped the scissors on my toe and decided to clean it up myself. I didn't even get weak while wiping it up. Of course the blood on my toe was like the size of a sunflower seed. Anyway...Kent did get to eat before he went to his meeting, but it was not without a price.

Work

It seemed like a good idea at 7:30 AM...

...turned out - it was just weird. I have a pair of dark red pants that I wear to work. I also have a red purse (that can be switched to a backpack) the exact same color as the pants! Well, in my early morning, first day back from vacation stupor on Monday I decided it would be a good idea to remove the strap from the purse and wear it as a belt. It was not until around 5:30 that evening as I was slouching on the couch that I looked down and began to laugh at how weird it was that I wore a purse strap to work.

Me and mornings - not a good team.

Back to Reality

Well, we're home from the beach trip with my family. It was so wonderful. We had a GRRRREAT time! 9 DAYS IN A ROW OF NOT GOING TO WORK!! It was like a dream come true. No stress, no high heels, no dress clothes, no brushing teeth (okay I did brush every other day), no make up...mostly just no working. I totally do not want to go back tomorrow. I am not ready to be tense again. I will just think about the beach when I get stressed. Anyway, here are some pictures:

Kent's thirsty...
Beachy
Me and my sissy
Phase 10...Love it..
Kent making a kissy face
Beach birdies
WE LOVE THE BEACH!

Poop Stories & Pepsi Commercial

So, I heard from Kent that someone told him that it's just not right without a good poop story (you know who you are). I couldn't agree more! I miss ya!

Has anyone seen this pepsi commerical? I think it is Huh-huh-Huhlarious!

**So, by now, most of you have probably already read this post. I decided to remove the video, so that you wouldn't have to wait for it to load every time you viewed the page. If you have not see the commericial I highly recommend you do so HERE **

Closing in on a record

I am closing in on a personal record. I've never had a job for more than 10 months. It just hasn't worked out. I've been with my current company for what will soon be 9 months. Of course I have a reason why all of the other jobs didn't work out. I now take you on the timeline of unemployment:

Babysit two kids all summer - 5 days 1996- One kid chased me with a cow rib.






YMCA Camp Cullen - Summer 1998 - Job ended, that's it.




Jean Breaux & Associates - Sept. 1998 - May 1999 - I wanted a more fun job for the summer



Lafayette Health Club "Life Guard" - 2 days in May 1999 - Boring





BREC Camp - Counselor - 4 days in June 1999 - Kids drove me crazy



Toy Soldier - Sales - Never showed up for the first day


Talbot's - Sales - 2 Days in november 1999 or 2000 (I can't remember) Told me I didn't dress nice enough


I'm not sure, but I don't think I had another job until I got out of college.


Highland Baptist Christian School - "PE Teacher" August 2001 - May 2002 What was I thinking. I never even liked PE. It really takes a special person to teach and it's not me.

Corky's Barbeque - now that was awesome! Just kidding - 3 months sometime in 2002 Do I really need to give a reason for quitting?

The Hise Company - 10 months (the record) - moved


Current Company...we shall see...

Voodoo...

Who? Me?

Well, today was like any other day...work-lunch-work-home. There was one event that made this day unlike any other I've experienced. I'd gone to lunch as usual and was headed back to the office as usual. I pulled into our office driveway and saw the maintenance engineer getting into his truck. I wasn't going to get out to talk to him because it was raining and I'm allergic to water. However, he kept motioning like he needed to tell me something. So, I stuck my head over the top of my car to see what he wanted. He then asked me, "Did you bring your dog to the office recently?" I said that I had on Saturday for a little while. He then covered his face as if to say "Oh no..." (like the guy on SNL). I said, "Why did she have an accident?" He said, "Uh, yeah." So I asked him where, thinking it was in the back hallway, or the storage area, where we rarely go. "In the boss's office!" Oh great...now I'm in trouble. I rushed inside and much to my disappointment the boss was on the phone. I hurried to my computer and messaged him,  "Are you ready to be mad at me?" No response, so I typed "I brought my dog to the office on Saturday and I think she may have left a surprise in your office." I heard him get off the phone and start walking to my office, I turned as red as a tomato as I heard him turn the corner and I started in on the "I'm so sorries." I was shocked and emabarrassed. He said he'd already called the cleaning company thinking one of them had brought a dog into our office, but was relieved to know it was me. I of course, couldn't quit laughing and apologizing. He laughed it off too and said it was funny more than anything else. I told him I'd go clean it up and he said "no, I'll do it". There was no way I was letting him clean my dogs poop, and I went to clean it up. There they were...two little Coca turds, about the size of the long skinny tootsie rolls. I was totally embarrassed and proceded to explain to my boss how I can never be normal and that it's just fitting that I get a new boss and my dog poos on his office floor!! I told him I wouldn't bring her back any more, but he said he didn't care if I brought her to the office. It really was no problem. He just told me he may leave a surprise under my desk. I told him that would be really wierd since he doesn't have any animals... The thing is, that little turd factory ran into our building about 30 seconds ahead of me. I quickly went in and shut everyone's office doors except mine so she couldn't leave any surprises. She must've shot those out like missles as soon as she got in there. Thanks Coca...way to help your moms get on the boss's good side!

Honk Honk

Tonight Kent and I went to eat dinner at CiCi's Pizza. Those of you in Lafayette, this is actually a good CiCi's Pizza...Really Good! Anyway, their credit card machine was broken so you had to pay cash. Good for us, our bank was just two buildings down. So we decided to walk over there. However, the only ATM they have is a drive up ATM. There were already two cars in line so we went and stood behind them. Of course I was cracking up laughing. Then another car pulled up behind us. This was very, very funny to me. It was like that commercial where the lady pulls up at her kid's school pretending to be in a car and blows an air horn. All we needed was an air horn. I got a good laugh tonight.

I'm outta here!

Coca's cousin, Pixie. She doesn't like kittens.

My Cokes

Well, joy of all joys, Kent and I now have this thing called the internet at home. Very exciting. YIPPEE!

Coca, our pup, is getting bigger all the time. She looks even bigger today because she had a bath and is very fluffy! She recently got a great Summer outfit so I just had to share. So cute, and ready for the beach.




She's spent alot of time hunting wild pigs, as well. She's quite the hunter...


Anyway, that's all I have for now. I'll probably post more pictures now that we've joined the rest of the world in the 21st century.

Nite!

Banasas

Yes, that is what I meant to type...Banasas.

I'm so stressed.

I had a bad day about a week and a half ago. Really, the only thing going right was that I continued to breathe. It was that bad. To top it all off, Kent and I went to my Grandpa and Grandma's for dinner that night. As we were leaving we walked towards my car and Kent says, "Jessica, what happened to your car?" What happened? Not sure...But I do have a big dent in my passenger side front fender. It may have happened during one of the three times in the previous week that people suddenly decided to back-up while driving in front of me. One of them got really close and I layed on the horn, so I thought he missed me. Maybe he didn't. Sometimes I'm so oblivious when I'm driving. Not just when I'm driving I guess. If I have a lot on my mind I tend to space out when doing everyday tasks. I'm okay if I'm talking to someone though.

Anyway, two weeks from tomorrow I'm on VACATION!!!! WOO HOO! I can hardly wait!

Big Brother 6

Every Summer I watch Big Brother. Every Summer there is someone on Big Brother that I cannot stand! This year it's Eric. Ugh! He's awful. Everyone just follows him around like their great and powerful leader. I dislike him for many reasons. Here is a short list:

*He's way to "gung-ho" about everything.
*He's way too much into "teamwork."
*He likes to teach the group a lesson with his enlightening lectures on not making anyone feel bad for losing. (*gag*)
*He's all about loyalty.
*He says things like "NO ONE MESSES WITH MY FAMILY." It's not like someone went and poked your wife in the butt with a needle. Talking about your grandparents will not hurt them.
*He manipulates the house by showing them how "honorable" he is.
*He acts like the King of the house walking around displaying how much better he is than everyone else.
*He makes me want to vomit.

Mostly, he just takes the whole thing way too seriously and I hope he leaves the house soon. It makes me cringe to think that he could win.

Think I watch too much reality TV? Do I take it too seriously as a viewer to actually post about how much I dislike someone on the show? You're right. But, I don't really have anything better to do with no friends in New Orleans and Kent busy with school work.

Why do roaches get on people while they're sleeping?

As many of you may know, New Orleans has some huge roaches. They actually use bucking roaches in rodeos here rather than broncos. I've been thinking about our disgusting brown neighbors a lot lately due to all the rain we've been getting. It has made me recall two roach stories from people I know:

1. *Person* who shall remain nameless, was sleeping in her comfy, cozy bed. All of the sudden she woke up to something sharp poking her in the leg. When she lifted her covers it was a great big flying cocroach!

2. *Person* who shall also remain nameless, woke up to a huge roach on his hand and proceded to fling it across the room!

WHY DO ROACHES GET ON PEOPLE WHILE THEY'RE SLEEPING? Are they looking for crumbs? Do they watch us all day and think, "Just wait till you go to sleep. I'm going to get that little jelly smudge off of your cheek." Maybe they're just mocking us. They know they're hated so the crawl on us just to spite us. Neither of the above stories were about me, but I've been sleeping with tissues in my ears a lot lately, just to make sure nothing takes up residence.

Anyway, just wanted to share some grossness...

Windy Cindy

Well, last night was tropical storm Cindy. Tropical storm - no big deal, right? Yeah, that's what I thought. I found it very hard to sleep though when I heard wind that sounded like a train and random objects slamming up against the house during the night. Thank goodness we have strong walls, I guess. We made it through the night. The Crape Myrtle tree in front of our house right along the fence was struck by lightning and split in half.

Kent's work didn't have power when he got in and my work was an absolute nightmare! I used to like rain until I worked in property management. Why do commercial roofs and windows have such a tendancy to leak? Don't you think they'd be stronger than regular roofs? Water, water every where and all the carpet reeked! Water, water every where in the windows it seeped! We had ceilings falling in, carpet coming up, walls peeling off. Irate tenants, the works. Sometimes I just want to tell them "LEAVE ME ALONE! I AM TIRED!" But, then I wouldn't have a job.

What a day! Two things brightened my day though:
1. I got a way cute blazer at Old Navy for $6.97 and I wore it today. So, every time I saw myself in the mirror it made me happy. I love cheap stuff!
2. I won a free coke in my bottle cap. Mmmmm....coke.


Other than that....not a great day...neither was yesterday. Now, I have painful gas trapped in my stomack. Awesome.

BIG BROTHER STARTS TOMORROW! SO HAPPY, OH SO HAPPY I AM!