At my job we're divided into two offices: East and West. I work in the East office. The West office had a competition for their residents in which they had to guess how many Easter Egg gum balls were in this vase that was probably about 24" tall and as big around as a gallon of milk. Turned out, there were 546 gums in there. Well, I think I've eaten 538 of them. I can't stop! It's like I'm a chain smoker only I'm a chain chewer! I chew two pieces at a time for no longer than 2 minutes, spit it out and then chew new ones. I start at about 10:00 AM and I have to follow the same pattern each time. Two yellows, two blues, two pinks, two whites and then the pattern repeats itself. Everyday I say, "Absolutely no gum today" and then I eat, literally, I'm not exaggerating, 30 to 40 pieces. It's a sickness and I'm not down with it. My gums on one side of my mouth are sore and I feel a weird crater in one of my molars. It's destroying my life! Soon I'll be loitering outside of convenience stores asking customers to lend me 88 cents for some gum, I'll hide out in the office bathroom just to get my fix with no one noticing, I'll wake up in a pile of my own gum not knowing how I got there and who's gum I was chewing. Finally, I'll hit rock bottom when a gum fix goes wrong and ends up in Kent's hair. It will never be the same once I hurt someone I love becuase of my need for gum...
Help me blog readers, you're my only hope!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Early Morning Photo Shoot
"What? I'm not doing anything."
"Hey Mom! I found a big one for you to throw!!"
"I GOT THE STICK!!!"
"Oh stick, I love you, stick..."
Monday, May 08, 2006
Awwww...It's our first video
Ta-da! Our first video uploaded to the internet!
This is a video of our Monkey-Dog Coca on the way to a Zephyrs game. Until we got this camera, Kent and I were the only people who'd heard her make this noise. Please watch the whole thing to hear the whole funny...it's only 30 seconds, after all!
ATTENTION:
I've removed the video from my blog so that it won't slow down readers' computers. Please view the video at Vidilife
This is a video of our Monkey-Dog Coca on the way to a Zephyrs game. Until we got this camera, Kent and I were the only people who'd heard her make this noise. Please watch the whole thing to hear the whole funny...it's only 30 seconds, after all!
ATTENTION:
I've removed the video from my blog so that it won't slow down readers' computers. Please view the video at Vidilife
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Simmah down now...
On Sunday mornings I have to find something to do from 9:00 to 10:00 AM in Uptown New Orleans. Kent has to be at church for 9:00 but the service doesn't start until 10:00. So, I entertain myself. Today, I walked several blocks down St. Charles and had breakfast at "C'est Si Bon." It was good. I ate outside, so the flies were kind of annoying but other than that, good. That's not what this post is about though...
On my way back to the church I saw what was almost a wicked awesome AFV moment. This guy was roller blading (kinda fast) with his dog (a cocker spaniel) running along side of him on a leash. He was heading for the entrance gate at Audubon Park. At the same time a very sweaty older man was walking out of the park. I happened to turn around when I heard the man with the dog saying, "come on, this way!" Right then, the roller blader went to one side of the sweaty man and the dog when to the other. The sweaty man was just about to get clotheslined, when the roller blader let go of the leash and sweaty man grabbed it. Sweaty man was almost laughing...he didn't seem to be angry at all.
That's when the fun ended.
Roller blader started shouting, "Watch the !@#$ where you're going!" Then Sweaty Man said, "I was just walking down the street when you went to one side and your dog went to the other." Roller blader replied, "Just watch the !@#$ where you're going!! WAKE UP!!" I don't know what was up with Roller Blader but apparently he thinks the world, the city and the sidewalk revolve around him. I wanted to go tell Sweaty Man that it's okay and he shouldn't worry about what the insane roller blader said, but I thought that would be weird. So, I just walked on.
I hope he's not at home crying.
On my way back to the church I saw what was almost a wicked awesome AFV moment. This guy was roller blading (kinda fast) with his dog (a cocker spaniel) running along side of him on a leash. He was heading for the entrance gate at Audubon Park. At the same time a very sweaty older man was walking out of the park. I happened to turn around when I heard the man with the dog saying, "come on, this way!" Right then, the roller blader went to one side of the sweaty man and the dog when to the other. The sweaty man was just about to get clotheslined, when the roller blader let go of the leash and sweaty man grabbed it. Sweaty man was almost laughing...he didn't seem to be angry at all.
That's when the fun ended.
Roller blader started shouting, "Watch the !@#$ where you're going!" Then Sweaty Man said, "I was just walking down the street when you went to one side and your dog went to the other." Roller blader replied, "Just watch the !@#$ where you're going!! WAKE UP!!" I don't know what was up with Roller Blader but apparently he thinks the world, the city and the sidewalk revolve around him. I wanted to go tell Sweaty Man that it's okay and he shouldn't worry about what the insane roller blader said, but I thought that would be weird. So, I just walked on.
I hope he's not at home crying.
Friday, May 05, 2006
$8 Hair Dye vs. $200 Hair-do
Oh my goodness...it has been a while since I posted. Kent has been working on projects and papers and stuff like that. So, I've been a little short on computer time, but no big deal. Anyway...
I was watching a TV commercial the other day (I have to specify because, you know, sometimes I watch radio commercials) and a commercial for L'Oreal Hair Dye came on.
WHATEVER, L'OREAL!!!!
How stupid do you think we are? I'm so sure Eva Longoria and Heather Locklear dye their precious, million dollar locks with $8 hair dye. Really, you will never get your hair to look like those celebrities by using hair dye you pick up at Walgreens, Wal-Mart or even Target. More than likely, they've spent in excess of $200 to get their hair done by someone like that guy from "Blow Out." So, L'Oreal, you don't fool me!
Meanwhile, I will buy the King Kong Pizza. Because if it's big enough for King Kong, it's big enough for me. I will also drink diet coke because the bubbles make that man run down the street and kiss his girl. I know, I'm a sucka.
I was watching a TV commercial the other day (I have to specify because, you know, sometimes I watch radio commercials) and a commercial for L'Oreal Hair Dye came on.
WHATEVER, L'OREAL!!!!
How stupid do you think we are? I'm so sure Eva Longoria and Heather Locklear dye their precious, million dollar locks with $8 hair dye. Really, you will never get your hair to look like those celebrities by using hair dye you pick up at Walgreens, Wal-Mart or even Target. More than likely, they've spent in excess of $200 to get their hair done by someone like that guy from "Blow Out." So, L'Oreal, you don't fool me!
Meanwhile, I will buy the King Kong Pizza. Because if it's big enough for King Kong, it's big enough for me. I will also drink diet coke because the bubbles make that man run down the street and kiss his girl. I know, I'm a sucka.
Monday, April 24, 2006
MONDAY! MONDAY! MONDAY!
ONE NIGHT AND ONE NIGHT ONLY!
A NO HOLDS BARRED PIG-OUT EXTRAVAGANZA!
YOU BETTER NOT MISS IT, BROTHERS!
Kent and I ate at CiCi's Pizza. Now, I know what all you Lafayettians are thinking...mmm...cardboard. The CiCi's here is WAY different. Its DEE-LISH-USSSS! And I totally lose control when we go there. Some nights I try to contain myself and at least drink a diet coke. Not tonight though. I ate and drank and my $4 worth!
Vegetable Pizza
Canadian Bacon Pizza
Barbeque Pizza
more Barbeque Pizza
Macaroni and Cheese Pizza (It's awesome!! The lady behind me thought it looked gross)
Giant mound of salad
Pasta Salad
Breadsticks
Brownies
and...ahhhh...Coca-Cola
I won't say how many pieces my tag team partner ate (I'll leave that up to him), but he certainly held up his end of the partnership. He was power-bombing pepperoni pieces and chokeslamming the cheese slices. OH YEAH!
I don't think it even all fit in my stomach. Some of it had to hang out in my esophagus until it's predecessors were digested. It's not often that I get to eat myself into a stupor, but man-oh- man when I do, I'm so happy the rest of the night (unless I'm feeling guilty about eating all of it, which is what normally would happen, but tonight I gave myself a pass).
Call me weak.
Call me a pig.
Call me out of control.
But most importantly, call me if you want to go to CiCi's.
A NO HOLDS BARRED PIG-OUT EXTRAVAGANZA!
YOU BETTER NOT MISS IT, BROTHERS!
Kent and I ate at CiCi's Pizza. Now, I know what all you Lafayettians are thinking...mmm...cardboard. The CiCi's here is WAY different. Its DEE-LISH-USSSS! And I totally lose control when we go there. Some nights I try to contain myself and at least drink a diet coke. Not tonight though. I ate and drank and my $4 worth!
Vegetable Pizza
Canadian Bacon Pizza
Barbeque Pizza
more Barbeque Pizza
Macaroni and Cheese Pizza (It's awesome!! The lady behind me thought it looked gross)
Giant mound of salad
Pasta Salad
Breadsticks
Brownies
and...ahhhh...Coca-Cola
I won't say how many pieces my tag team partner ate (I'll leave that up to him), but he certainly held up his end of the partnership. He was power-bombing pepperoni pieces and chokeslamming the cheese slices. OH YEAH!
I don't think it even all fit in my stomach. Some of it had to hang out in my esophagus until it's predecessors were digested. It's not often that I get to eat myself into a stupor, but man-oh- man when I do, I'm so happy the rest of the night (unless I'm feeling guilty about eating all of it, which is what normally would happen, but tonight I gave myself a pass).
Call me weak.
Call me a pig.
Call me out of control.
But most importantly, call me if you want to go to CiCi's.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
In the words of Stephanie Tanner, "How Rude!"
Kent and I had planned to tour a doggy Bed and Breakfast on Sunday afternoon. We'd hoped to be able to leave Coca there on a trial run the weekend that we're going to Festival International. When I'd called before, they gave me the prices and said that the dogs spend the day hanging out with other dogs and spend the night in their suites. I was a little concerned because, as you may or may not know, Coca weighs about the same as a bag of sugar. I called "Pampered Pets" today and explained that I'd gotten prices and a description of their services and that I was a little concerned about the dogs being all together. I asked the old man that answered the phone if the dogs were separated by size. He said, "No." So, I said, "You mean, my 5 lb dog is going to be spending the day with German Shepherds and Great Danes?" Then he responded hastily, "No! Small dogs are in the front and large dogs are in the back. STOP AND THINK!" I was shocked by his rudeness and harsh response to a legitimate concern. I mean, usually when you say no, they're not divided by size, that means they're all together. I said okay and hung up.
I told a girl I work with, Nichole, about the conversation. She asked if I wanted her to call and see if they treated her the same way. I told her she should. Nichole pretended to be the owner of a small dog getting some information about their facility. She spoke with a lady (not the old man I spoke with). The lady explained that the dogs were together during the day ...blah blah blah. Nichole then asked a similar question to what I'd asked. She said, "So all of the dogs are together?" The "lady" replied, "Yes." So, Nichole said, "My small dog is going to be with Rotweillers and other large dogs?" Then the lady said, "WHAT DO YOU THINK???!!" Nichole, being alot braver than I am, responded by saying "Excuse me! I'm just trying to find a good place for my dog." I was glad she'd responded that way. The alleged lady tried to be a little nicer then.
Needless to say, we will not be touring "Pampered Pets" nor will Coca be staying there. I know its no skin of their reptilian backs but I'll never give them any money.
Not going somewhere because they were rude doesn't really affect the business. What's the measley amount I would have paid them compared to what they make in a day, right? However, I just can't do it. That is, in fact, why I no longer go to the "Family Christian Store" in the Esplanade mall. I like to lovingly refer to it as the "Death Store" and sometimes hiss when we pass by it. Actually, I was hissing at the "Family Christian Store" one day when someone walked past me and looked a little freaked out. I realized she probably thought I was some type of devil worshipper hissing at the Christians. I then tried to joke, loudly, about it hoping she'd here me telling Kent why I was hissing. Anyway...I know that hissing in public is not normal for a 26 year old person.
There is one store to which I've made an exception. Sav-A-Center...because it's one block from our house and sometimes I desperately need some crusty bread and fudgcicles.
I told a girl I work with, Nichole, about the conversation. She asked if I wanted her to call and see if they treated her the same way. I told her she should. Nichole pretended to be the owner of a small dog getting some information about their facility. She spoke with a lady (not the old man I spoke with). The lady explained that the dogs were together during the day ...blah blah blah. Nichole then asked a similar question to what I'd asked. She said, "So all of the dogs are together?" The "lady" replied, "Yes." So, Nichole said, "My small dog is going to be with Rotweillers and other large dogs?" Then the lady said, "WHAT DO YOU THINK???!!" Nichole, being alot braver than I am, responded by saying "Excuse me! I'm just trying to find a good place for my dog." I was glad she'd responded that way. The alleged lady tried to be a little nicer then.
Needless to say, we will not be touring "Pampered Pets" nor will Coca be staying there. I know its no skin of their reptilian backs but I'll never give them any money.
Not going somewhere because they were rude doesn't really affect the business. What's the measley amount I would have paid them compared to what they make in a day, right? However, I just can't do it. That is, in fact, why I no longer go to the "Family Christian Store" in the Esplanade mall. I like to lovingly refer to it as the "Death Store" and sometimes hiss when we pass by it. Actually, I was hissing at the "Family Christian Store" one day when someone walked past me and looked a little freaked out. I realized she probably thought I was some type of devil worshipper hissing at the Christians. I then tried to joke, loudly, about it hoping she'd here me telling Kent why I was hissing. Anyway...I know that hissing in public is not normal for a 26 year old person.
There is one store to which I've made an exception. Sav-A-Center...because it's one block from our house and sometimes I desperately need some crusty bread and fudgcicles.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
The Amazing story of one man and one woman who get lots of free food...
One of the grrrrrreat things about living so close to alot of family is the free food! It was my cousin Jonathan's 18th birthday party on Saturday and guess who took home the leftovers. OH YEAH, it was us. We brought home fried catfish, shrimp, a TON of Jambalya, french bread, two kinds of fried potatoes, sausage and potato salad. It's incredibly awesome and I'm so happy. Some of it had to be frozen because we couldn't eat all of that before it goes bad. PLUS! My grandpa and grandma sent some coke home with us today (a-cola, not cocaine, in case you're wondering).
Back at the work place...
I worked alone on Saturday. We each have to work one Saturday a month and this past one was mine. Here are some of the highlights of the day:
A resident came into the office and complained about seeing someone smoking crack by the pool.
A resident's son threw his keys onto the roof...which is 3 stories up.
A resident had to come by and get touch up paint because she said she had "a very bad case of diarrhea." I really don't know what's up with that. I mean, I've had some bad viruses, but I've never had to touch up the paint afterward.
Other random information:
I discovered one of my molars is chipped. Guess I should stop eating gravel.
4 day week!!
Back at the work place...
I worked alone on Saturday. We each have to work one Saturday a month and this past one was mine. Here are some of the highlights of the day:
A resident came into the office and complained about seeing someone smoking crack by the pool.
A resident's son threw his keys onto the roof...which is 3 stories up.
A resident had to come by and get touch up paint because she said she had "a very bad case of diarrhea." I really don't know what's up with that. I mean, I've had some bad viruses, but I've never had to touch up the paint afterward.
Other random information:
I discovered one of my molars is chipped. Guess I should stop eating gravel.
4 day week!!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Funny Stuff
I saw something very funny on the internet today. However, it was inappropriate for the blog. I'll just laugh for you.
In other news, I can't stop eating.
In other news, I can't stop eating.
Monday, April 03, 2006
I've Gone and Done It
I've introduced my coworkers to "Todd." If you've ever been prank called by me, then you know exactly who that is. If you have not been prank called by me, then send me your number. I always need a few good numbers.
They thought it was really funny. So, of course, I couldn't just stop there. As long as someone is laughing, I'll keep going until its not funny anymore. I had to show them some of my sound effects, clown horn, air horn, etc. They laughed and and I loved it. Of course, they all think I'm part man now. I'm holding out on the Aaron Neville and Elvis impersonations until I've been there 6 months.
Sidenote - Coca is doing so well with her training. My little girl is so smart.
They thought it was really funny. So, of course, I couldn't just stop there. As long as someone is laughing, I'll keep going until its not funny anymore. I had to show them some of my sound effects, clown horn, air horn, etc. They laughed and and I loved it. Of course, they all think I'm part man now. I'm holding out on the Aaron Neville and Elvis impersonations until I've been there 6 months.
Sidenote - Coca is doing so well with her training. My little girl is so smart.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Six days, seven nights...
Here's the week in review:
Smell Sensitivity set to LOW - The main part of my job is to walk apartments as people move out and get them ready (schedule contractors, supervise work, etc.) for the next resident. I walked this one apartment and did not think it was too bad. The next day, one of our maintenance guys comes to me and says, "You're getting the carpet changed in there, aren't you?" I told him I wasn't planning on it. He then told me he and another maintenance guy couldn't even work in there because it smelled so bad! I told him I'd go ahead and have it tested for pet urine just to be safe, even though I didn't smell anything (the person didn't have a pet lease so it was not automatically tested). Sure enough, there were urine stains all over - and I didn't smell a thing! What's up with this nose?
What I Love: March Edition
*Little packets of calorie free drink mix for your water bottle
*Nature's Valley Almond Crunch Granola Bars
*Advantage Flea and Tick Medication
*Popsicles
Newsworthy
Did you know that you are entitled to one free credit report per year from the each of the three major credit reporting agencies? I just learned that today and Kent and I both took a look at our credit reports. I only have a little piece of credit. That's good, I guess, considering I've never had a credit card. We thought someone was stealing Kent's identity, so that was a little scary...although incorrect. You should definitely check your credit report. It will be interesting.
Unlikely Events
*I ORDERED OUR WEDDING PICTURES!!!!!
*Some flowers I planted bloomed! (see pictures below)
Smell Sensitivity set to LOW - The main part of my job is to walk apartments as people move out and get them ready (schedule contractors, supervise work, etc.) for the next resident. I walked this one apartment and did not think it was too bad. The next day, one of our maintenance guys comes to me and says, "You're getting the carpet changed in there, aren't you?" I told him I wasn't planning on it. He then told me he and another maintenance guy couldn't even work in there because it smelled so bad! I told him I'd go ahead and have it tested for pet urine just to be safe, even though I didn't smell anything (the person didn't have a pet lease so it was not automatically tested). Sure enough, there were urine stains all over - and I didn't smell a thing! What's up with this nose?
What I Love: March Edition
*Little packets of calorie free drink mix for your water bottle
*Nature's Valley Almond Crunch Granola Bars
*Advantage Flea and Tick Medication
*Popsicles
Newsworthy
Did you know that you are entitled to one free credit report per year from the each of the three major credit reporting agencies? I just learned that today and Kent and I both took a look at our credit reports. I only have a little piece of credit. That's good, I guess, considering I've never had a credit card. We thought someone was stealing Kent's identity, so that was a little scary...although incorrect. You should definitely check your credit report. It will be interesting.
Unlikely Events
*I ORDERED OUR WEDDING PICTURES!!!!!
*Some flowers I planted bloomed! (see pictures below)
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I know Brad Pitt has a lot of money, but...
We all know that Brad Pitt has TONS of money. But it's really just flaunting it when you pay to have your internal battles decided on a basket ball court.
Have you no shame, Brad? HAVE-YOU-NO-SHAME?
Saturday, March 18, 2006
"What a splendid head, yet no brain." - Aesop
Throughout my full-grown life I've gained weight and lost weight, cut my hair short and grown it long, gotten a tan then faded to a pasty white - there have been many changes. But, in this ever changing world there's one thing that remains constant:
MY GIANT HEAD!
Before you start with the obligatory, "No, your head's not big!" Let me just explain that it is giant and I'm okay with it.
Men's size Large hats are tight on my oversized, bobble head.
My graduation caps have had to be attached with clips and hairpins because they bust off of my gargantuan head.
I once needed a big, floppy hat for a murder mystery dinner. Kent's mom offered to let me borrow one of hers. I said that it would probably be too small. I tried it on anyway....and...I could not pull it down. It just kind of floated on top of my inflated, balloon head.
If I follow a crochet pattern to make myself a hat, I have to continuously add stitches so it will fit my big, fat, rock head.
Yes, so, my head is indeed a large one but I think I'm going to keep it because nothing is funnier at 7:00 in the morning than not being able to fit your head through the head-hole in your sweater.
MY GIANT HEAD!
Before you start with the obligatory, "No, your head's not big!" Let me just explain that it is giant and I'm okay with it.
Men's size Large hats are tight on my oversized, bobble head.
My graduation caps have had to be attached with clips and hairpins because they bust off of my gargantuan head.
I once needed a big, floppy hat for a murder mystery dinner. Kent's mom offered to let me borrow one of hers. I said that it would probably be too small. I tried it on anyway....and...I could not pull it down. It just kind of floated on top of my inflated, balloon head.
If I follow a crochet pattern to make myself a hat, I have to continuously add stitches so it will fit my big, fat, rock head.
Yes, so, my head is indeed a large one but I think I'm going to keep it because nothing is funnier at 7:00 in the morning than not being able to fit your head through the head-hole in your sweater.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
The Loot
Here are some of our treasures from the St. Patrick's Day parade on Sunday.
VEGGIES! Cabbage, carrots, onion and potatoes. I've already made a delicious vegetable soup with some chicken stock I had frozen. I've also made some plain cabbage with salt and pepper...mmmmm!
Although we didn't catch a chicken foot at this parade. We did catch some chicken flavored Ramen noodles.
This was my favorite catch, of all. If you can't tell, it's a shamrock windchime.
VEGGIES! Cabbage, carrots, onion and potatoes. I've already made a delicious vegetable soup with some chicken stock I had frozen. I've also made some plain cabbage with salt and pepper...mmmmm!
Although we didn't catch a chicken foot at this parade. We did catch some chicken flavored Ramen noodles.
This was my favorite catch, of all. If you can't tell, it's a shamrock windchime.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I'm a published humorist!
Yes, I am! Well, okay it's only in the Interfax Daily but according to itself, it's "seen by thousands of employed readers every weekday." My joke is not really that funny, but it is along the lines of what usually runs in the Interfax Daily. What's even more exciting is that it won us some FREE FOOD!!
By the way, if you can't read the joke here it is:
Q. Why does Barbie look so good for her age?
A. Because she has a great PLASTIC surgeon!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Happy Anniversary, Sicko!
Kent's and my 4th Anniversary is coming up soon. We've been hemming and hawwing about whether or not to buy each other gifts, what to do to celebrate and all of that business. Well, we finally decided what to get each other. I know its a bit early, but what can you do, right? We gave each other a pre-anniversary stomach virus! That's right! And in a house with only one bathroom it's really helped us learn the value of compromise, and that's the real gift. Don't you agree?
Seriously, we've been vomitting our guts out.
We just decided this was the absolute perfect gift. Besides, nothing says "I'm still the girl you married" like regurgitated granola stuck to your neck.
**Bonus**
Yes, I Am Supposed to be an Adult
Yesterday I went to work thinking I could stick it out. I hate to lose money and I won't have any sick days until May 1st. Well, I couldn't stick it out. I hadn't thrown up but I could feel it coming. So I told my boss I needed to go home and I left. I stopped by walgreens to get some Lysol and crackers. While I was in line I started to feel really weak and hot and nauseated. The girl two people in front of me was buying enough gum and soap to freshen the breath of and clean like 20 elephants. I couldn't take it. I rushed out of the store to get some air. I thought I'd composed myself and went back in. I started to feel sick again and thought maybe I just need to go to the bathroom. So, I asked a girl who worked there where the restroom was. Aisle 9C. I walked towards aisle 9C and was about one aisle away when I realized, "Oh, no I'm going to puke" I had to push past a man with my hand over my mouth. I made it to aisle 9C, but there was no sign for a bathroom. Then the vomit came. I stood there, like a kid, vomitting all over the medicine aisle, my feet and my pants (but not a drop on my super cute, new, beaded wristlet I got last weekend). Of course, then I started crying. Not just a sniffling crying, but a BOO HOO HOO. The same man that I'd pushed past earlier came over and said, "do you need some help?" He didn't even work at the store. I sobbed and said "I'm sick and I can't find the bathroom, but don't come over here. You don't want to see this." Then the manager showed up and helped me to the bathroom. I realized I must've looked crazy with mascara streaming down my face and vomit all over my pants. I came out of the bathroom and asked for a mop so I could clean up my mess, but he insisted they'd do it. So, I walked out of the store as calmly as I could and left. When's the last time you've seen a "grown-up", not drunk, and vommitting in a store?
Seriously, we've been vomitting our guts out.
We just decided this was the absolute perfect gift. Besides, nothing says "I'm still the girl you married" like regurgitated granola stuck to your neck.
**Bonus**
Yes, I Am Supposed to be an Adult
Yesterday I went to work thinking I could stick it out. I hate to lose money and I won't have any sick days until May 1st. Well, I couldn't stick it out. I hadn't thrown up but I could feel it coming. So I told my boss I needed to go home and I left. I stopped by walgreens to get some Lysol and crackers. While I was in line I started to feel really weak and hot and nauseated. The girl two people in front of me was buying enough gum and soap to freshen the breath of and clean like 20 elephants. I couldn't take it. I rushed out of the store to get some air. I thought I'd composed myself and went back in. I started to feel sick again and thought maybe I just need to go to the bathroom. So, I asked a girl who worked there where the restroom was. Aisle 9C. I walked towards aisle 9C and was about one aisle away when I realized, "Oh, no I'm going to puke" I had to push past a man with my hand over my mouth. I made it to aisle 9C, but there was no sign for a bathroom. Then the vomit came. I stood there, like a kid, vomitting all over the medicine aisle, my feet and my pants (but not a drop on my super cute, new, beaded wristlet I got last weekend). Of course, then I started crying. Not just a sniffling crying, but a BOO HOO HOO. The same man that I'd pushed past earlier came over and said, "do you need some help?" He didn't even work at the store. I sobbed and said "I'm sick and I can't find the bathroom, but don't come over here. You don't want to see this." Then the manager showed up and helped me to the bathroom. I realized I must've looked crazy with mascara streaming down my face and vomit all over my pants. I came out of the bathroom and asked for a mop so I could clean up my mess, but he insisted they'd do it. So, I walked out of the store as calmly as I could and left. When's the last time you've seen a "grown-up", not drunk, and vommitting in a store?
Monday, March 06, 2006
What a knockout!!
You may, or may not, know some of Kent's and my "sleeping" stories, or should I say antics. Well, add another to the list. I woke up Wednesday morning with a sore and a little clogged nose. As the day progressed I tried to blow my nose, but nothing would come out. Not to mention, it was getting more and more painful. Finally, by the evening my nose was really sore and not the cartilage part, but the bone and surrounding area. I was stumped. Kent and I really did not remember me hitting my face on anything and that is something that's usually hard to forget. As we got ready to go to bed that night I noticed a smear of blood on my pillow! At first I thought, "GROSS!" Then, after changing the pillow case and thinking about it a little longer, we realized what probably happened to my nose.
You may have heard the story about the time, when Kent and I had been married for only a few months and I had a mid-morning mishap. I rolled onto my back (which I usually don't do and for good reason) and was probably 1/4 awake. All of the sudden, Kent elbows me full force in the chest. I yell, of course, and he wakes up. Turns out, he was fighting someone off his back in his dream and I guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
All of that to say, we think somehow some part of Kent, whether it was his head, his elbow or his hand, hit me in the nose during the night. I got hit so hard that it left a bruise and was sore for 5 days! How I didn't wake up during the incident, I don't know.
You may have heard the story about the time, when Kent and I had been married for only a few months and I had a mid-morning mishap. I rolled onto my back (which I usually don't do and for good reason) and was probably 1/4 awake. All of the sudden, Kent elbows me full force in the chest. I yell, of course, and he wakes up. Turns out, he was fighting someone off his back in his dream and I guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
All of that to say, we think somehow some part of Kent, whether it was his head, his elbow or his hand, hit me in the nose during the night. I got hit so hard that it left a bruise and was sore for 5 days! How I didn't wake up during the incident, I don't know.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
DO NOT scroll down if you don't want to see something sick!
Ewwww!! This was thrown to my aunt at the Mardi Gras parade we went to on Saturday. At first we thought it was fake and were all amazed at how realistic it looked. It has joints, ligaments and everything. Then, I thought I spotted a bone and decided not to touch it anymore just to be safe. Now, it is starting to stink. How totally disgusting! 
Oh, and just in case you're still wondering....it's a chicken foot.
Oh, and just in case you're still wondering....it's a chicken foot.
Monday, February 27, 2006
She's growing up so fast *tear*
Coca is officially a "big girl." Not only is she allowed to stay in the Living Room and hang out on the couch, on her blanket, while we're at work, but she starts Kindergarten on March 23rd. She is going to beginner obedience training for 8 weeks. Actually, we'll be going together on Thursday nights. I'm so excited.
I'm also off of work today and tomorrow and very excited about that, as well. Yay for Mardi Gras. Speaking of Mardi Gras, someone threw the sickest thing off of one of the floats on Saturday. I will post a picture of it later...gross.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
My Summer Breeze Turned Into a North Wind
As the hair around my forehead blew ever-so-slightly in the breeze created by the fan, I fell asleep to the sound of Kent's breathing, which was, for the first time in months, not drowned out by the sound of the A/C or heater. It was fabulous. For the last two nights I've enjoyed sleeping in shorts and a tee and covering with just a sheet. It was warm and comfortable and it felt like Summer was on its way. I wore a skirt to work on Wednesday and bought some new strappy, black heels. I even contemplated putting on the Neutrogena tan this week. I am definitely ready for Summer (except for the swimsuit part - I'm never quite ready for that).
Even though I'm not in school anymore and off for the whole Summer, it's still my favorite time of the year. It's exciting...vacations, barbeques, my birthday, longer days, watermelon and West Nile.
Ahhh...Vacations. I never realized how much I absolutely loved going on vacation until I started working full-time. It was always great fun and I looked forward to them, but now, it's the pot of gold at the end of my yearly rainbow, it's the cherry on top of my year of Sundays, it's the flag atop my mountain of Mondays. I can smell it now...
Unfortunately, it's now 54 degrees! The low will be 43 tonight. I guess it's back to flannel PJ's, heavy blankets and the heater. Wah-wah. I know, I know, it's much colder in Denver...
Even though I'm not in school anymore and off for the whole Summer, it's still my favorite time of the year. It's exciting...vacations, barbeques, my birthday, longer days, watermelon and West Nile.
Ahhh...Vacations. I never realized how much I absolutely loved going on vacation until I started working full-time. It was always great fun and I looked forward to them, but now, it's the pot of gold at the end of my yearly rainbow, it's the cherry on top of my year of Sundays, it's the flag atop my mountain of Mondays. I can smell it now...
Unfortunately, it's now 54 degrees! The low will be 43 tonight. I guess it's back to flannel PJ's, heavy blankets and the heater. Wah-wah. I know, I know, it's much colder in Denver...
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
You can make Jessica and Kent your friends for only $19.95; Act now and you'll also receive this FREE Handy Chopper!
As I've mentioned before, I'm not very good at making friends. I was reminded of my friend-making deficiency this Sunday. Kent and I are going to a new church now and are trying to meet some people. A married guy (with no apparent kids), probably about 3 or 4 years older than Kent, started talking to us. As he asked questions I went into the sales pitch. The "where I work." The "where I live." The "what makes me interesting." This is one of the two areas I completely fail when friend making. I'm no good at the sales pitch. I stumble on the words, sweat and have difficulty making eye contact. If I was selling crystal meth...maybe that would work, but not when I'm selling myself.
I also fail when it comes to closing the deal. I don't ask for phone numbers, email addresses or plan any follow-up visits. I usually just assume that I've failed to present myself as anything they'd be interested in and they will head on down to the next friend dealership along the highway.
I do however, have great customer service after the purchase has been made. Sure sometimes the line is busy, or there's a faulty part, but that's what recalls are for, right? The Jessica 2006 also comes with free tips on finding great deals on cute shoes and the latest technology in prank call making.
I also fail when it comes to closing the deal. I don't ask for phone numbers, email addresses or plan any follow-up visits. I usually just assume that I've failed to present myself as anything they'd be interested in and they will head on down to the next friend dealership along the highway.
I do however, have great customer service after the purchase has been made. Sure sometimes the line is busy, or there's a faulty part, but that's what recalls are for, right? The Jessica 2006 also comes with free tips on finding great deals on cute shoes and the latest technology in prank call making.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
I Had To Burst My Bubble
I had this weird, white thing growing on my lower eye-lid. At fist I thought it was a sty. I was later informed that sties are red. Silly me. So, I thought it was just a little virus-like thing and it would go away on its own. Well, it had been, like, 2 weeks and it was still there. It was starting to get a little painful when I bumped it too. So, I decided to go to the doctor. All day long I was nervous, thinking he would have to stick it with a needle, scrape it off with a scalpel or zap it with a laser. All my worries were for naught. He took one look at it and said, "oh it's a pimple."
Awesome, I'm 26, finally done with zits and break-outs (most days anyway) on my face and now I can get them on my eyes! YESSSSSS!
He proceeded to try to pop it for me with his finger first, and then with a long Q-tip. He couldn't do it. He told me I should put hot compresses on it in the morning and at night before I go to bed and "work at popping it...I mean expressing it." Last night my eye-zit decided to take the advice of Madonna and express itself after I "worked at it" with a hot compress. It was very freeing. No more white bubble eye!
I know, I'm sick.
Awesome, I'm 26, finally done with zits and break-outs (most days anyway) on my face and now I can get them on my eyes! YESSSSSS!
He proceeded to try to pop it for me with his finger first, and then with a long Q-tip. He couldn't do it. He told me I should put hot compresses on it in the morning and at night before I go to bed and "work at popping it...I mean expressing it." Last night my eye-zit decided to take the advice of Madonna and express itself after I "worked at it" with a hot compress. It was very freeing. No more white bubble eye!
I know, I'm sick.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Prank Calls
I love to make Prank Calls. Yes, yes, I know...26 years old and likes to make prank calls. You may think its sad, but you're wrong. Its fun. I love to trick people with my voice. I can imitate an iffeminate man very well and it has given me many hours of entertainment. Here are a few prank calls from the vault:
(when Kent was working at the hockey store)
ME: "Hi, my name is Jason. How much are your hockey masks?"
(calling a friend's friend who was working at Victoria's Secret)
ME: "Hi, I was just wondering if you hire black people?"
GIRL: "yes."
ME: "Do you hire Indian people?"
GIRL: "yes."
ME:"Do you hire elderly people?"
GIRL: "yes." (now, a little annoyed)
ME: "Well, do you hire people who are a little bit woman and (in a deep man's voice) A LITTLE BIT MAN?"
(to many, many friends who lived in the dorms)
ME: "Hi, this is Wanda Butler from the Student Housing department."
PERSON: "Yes?"
ME: "You're ID card has an outstanding balance of $450."
PERSON: "What!!??"
ME: "Yes, I'll need you to stop by the housing office first thing tomorrow morning to take care of this."
PERSON: "well, that's stupid. I don't even use my ID card!"
ME: "Then there must be some error please stop by the office as soon as possible"
(they would continue to rant and rave about not oweing money until they said...)
PERSON: "Why are you calling students at 10:00 at night?"
ME: "Yes, well, we're very busy here. Please stop by in the morning." *click*
There have been many more, but I will stop here so as not to incriminate myself and reveal who it was that called you all those times. :) This is Old Nasty saying goodnight.
(when Kent was working at the hockey store)
(calling a friend's friend who was working at Victoria's Secret)
(to many, many friends who lived in the dorms)
(they would continue to rant and rave about not oweing money until they said...)
There have been many more, but I will stop here so as not to incriminate myself and reveal who it was that called you all those times. :) This is Old Nasty saying goodnight.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Save the drama for your mama and post!
It has been 7 days since my last posting.
Someone brought a HUGE box of See's Chocolates to my office. OH MY GOODNESS!!! They are so good and I cannot stop eating them. At least today I waited until after 12:00 to have one. Yesterday I started early. I just can't stop. Just when I think I'm done, they pull me back in.
I have been eating the gassiest foods lately: chilli, baked beans, sour kraut...poor, poor Kent.
Today I dressed for Summer. Wishful thinking, I guess. It was cold and so were my toes.
Oh! AND GUESS WHAT!! We're going to go to Festival International de Louisiane this year! Yay!! I absolutely love Festival International. I can get many hours of dancing in..oh so fun. Kellie and Gene, you kids should come in too. It's April 26th -30th.
And one more thing before I go...
Coca, my dog-child, escaped from the hallway one day while we were at work. I thought she'd managed to behave herself and even considered not putting her in the hall during the day anymore. Well, I kept smelling something funky while I was working on a vanity that I'm refinishing. It didn't smell like poop or pee...just funky. So, I finished what I was doing and got ready to go to bed. I reached over to turn off the lamp by the couch and saw that Coca had left a Tootsie Roll on KENT'S BRAND NEW RAIN JACKET! I couldn't help but laugh a little, even though I did feel bad for Kent. I told Kent about it, cleaned it up and went to bed.
A couple of days later, it was raining so Kent brought his rain jacket to work. When he came home , he set it on the floor in the Living room and went in the spare room to do his school work. Soon he heard Coca scratching on something. He walked in the living room and there she was..in her hump-back pooping position leaving a present on his jacket again. Poor, poor Kent, indeed.
Someone brought a HUGE box of See's Chocolates to my office. OH MY GOODNESS!!! They are so good and I cannot stop eating them. At least today I waited until after 12:00 to have one. Yesterday I started early. I just can't stop. Just when I think I'm done, they pull me back in.
I have been eating the gassiest foods lately: chilli, baked beans, sour kraut...poor, poor Kent.
Today I dressed for Summer. Wishful thinking, I guess. It was cold and so were my toes.
Oh! AND GUESS WHAT!! We're going to go to Festival International de Louisiane this year! Yay!! I absolutely love Festival International. I can get many hours of dancing in..oh so fun. Kellie and Gene, you kids should come in too. It's April 26th -30th.
And one more thing before I go...
Coca, my dog-child, escaped from the hallway one day while we were at work. I thought she'd managed to behave herself and even considered not putting her in the hall during the day anymore. Well, I kept smelling something funky while I was working on a vanity that I'm refinishing. It didn't smell like poop or pee...just funky. So, I finished what I was doing and got ready to go to bed. I reached over to turn off the lamp by the couch and saw that Coca had left a Tootsie Roll on KENT'S BRAND NEW RAIN JACKET! I couldn't help but laugh a little, even though I did feel bad for Kent. I told Kent about it, cleaned it up and went to bed.
A couple of days later, it was raining so Kent brought his rain jacket to work. When he came home , he set it on the floor in the Living room and went in the spare room to do his school work. Soon he heard Coca scratching on something. He walked in the living room and there she was..in her hump-back pooping position leaving a present on his jacket again. Poor, poor Kent, indeed.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
It's a Sad Thing
Some of you may know that I'm not very good at household chores. By "not very good" I mean I don't really do them unless someone is coming over. There are some things that are necessary, of course. I clean the bathroom - toilets, tub, etc and I vacuum. I also cook dinner every night and, thankfully, Kent does the dishes (which would be my reason to not cook).
There's one area where I have continuously failed my entire life. Clothes. I don't like to wash them. I don't like to fold them. I don't like to put them away. I just like to wear them and then throw them on the floor. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I would shove them under the bed when I had to clean up. In college I would shove them into laundry bags and suitcases. As a me, now, I shove them into the closet.
Well, I managed to get way, way, way behind on laundry. I hadn't done ANY in about a month and a half. That equals more than 63 pounds of laundry (that's not even all of it - there's still some blankets and sheets). How do I know how much our laundry weighs? Because we broke down and brought it all to a laundry service. AND IT IS AWESOME!!! We drop off the clothes after work one day and then pick them up the next day after work. They do a super job, too! The clothes smell fresh and I've never seen anyone fold so neatly. They even match our stuff up! They put any matching pajama tops and bottoms I have together, they put pants all together, t-shirts all together, tanks all together, towels all together...you get the picture. The best part about it is that their prices are reasonable (for a laundry service anyway - you pay by the pound). Of course, the place is a hole in the wall and I wouldn't go there alone, but no big deal. What's the harm in getting mugged as long as my clothes are clean, right?
Unfortunately, our budget will not allow this type of behavior to continue. So, I've vowed to keep up with the laundry. Colored clothes go directly into the washer now and whites go into a small basket. The other 3 laundry baskets will no longer be used for laundry. So far, so good.
I cannot, however, make any promises about my closet. I think I'll always suffer from closet avalanches and mad searches for the "other shoe" at 8:00 in the morning. It just wouldn't be right if I didn't. Besides, what would I do with all that extra time in the morning not spent looking for my shoe? Eat breakfast at home? That's proposterous!
There's one area where I have continuously failed my entire life. Clothes. I don't like to wash them. I don't like to fold them. I don't like to put them away. I just like to wear them and then throw them on the floor. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I would shove them under the bed when I had to clean up. In college I would shove them into laundry bags and suitcases. As a me, now, I shove them into the closet.
Well, I managed to get way, way, way behind on laundry. I hadn't done ANY in about a month and a half. That equals more than 63 pounds of laundry (that's not even all of it - there's still some blankets and sheets). How do I know how much our laundry weighs? Because we broke down and brought it all to a laundry service. AND IT IS AWESOME!!! We drop off the clothes after work one day and then pick them up the next day after work. They do a super job, too! The clothes smell fresh and I've never seen anyone fold so neatly. They even match our stuff up! They put any matching pajama tops and bottoms I have together, they put pants all together, t-shirts all together, tanks all together, towels all together...you get the picture. The best part about it is that their prices are reasonable (for a laundry service anyway - you pay by the pound). Of course, the place is a hole in the wall and I wouldn't go there alone, but no big deal. What's the harm in getting mugged as long as my clothes are clean, right?
Unfortunately, our budget will not allow this type of behavior to continue. So, I've vowed to keep up with the laundry. Colored clothes go directly into the washer now and whites go into a small basket. The other 3 laundry baskets will no longer be used for laundry. So far, so good. I cannot, however, make any promises about my closet. I think I'll always suffer from closet avalanches and mad searches for the "other shoe" at 8:00 in the morning. It just wouldn't be right if I didn't. Besides, what would I do with all that extra time in the morning not spent looking for my shoe? Eat breakfast at home? That's proposterous!
Sunday, January 29, 2006
E-Lazy
I check my email everyday. I'm just not very good at deleting the ones I don't need.
Welcome, Jessica! You have 1523 unread messages:
Inbox(715), Bulk(808)
Friday, January 27, 2006
Shopping List
1. Here's something kind of weird. Actually, I can't decide if it's weird or cool. It's called Jelly Bath (you have to watch the informative video to get the full effect). I am not sure if I'd want to bathe in it or not. I think I would have to take a shower afterward to wash the jelly off. That would be, like, rash city in my armpits if I didn't rinse well.
2. I watched the beginning of The Biggest Loser the other night. It's a new one where the competition is between three or four families of four. They all work in restaurants. In the little intro video they show to introduce each family they talked about how it's a "nibble" here and a "bite" there and they taste things all day long! I worked in a restaurant and never once, not even one time, did I "nibble" food. That's just kind of unusual, I think. Maybe I just never noticed people nibbling though. It sems like that would be against the rules, don't you think?
3. I love Lipton Diet teas. Not the lemon - ack! gag! barf! I absolutle LUH-HUV the Diet Peach tea and the Diet Raspberry tea. Oh, so tasty and the fruitiness covers up the dietness.
4. This is the first time I've watched Beauty and the Geek. It's pretty good so far. I like Joe and Brittany! Go girl and geek!
5. Finally, I have officially met the laziest person on the planet. I don't think she'd step out of the way if a meteor was headed straight for her because it would take too much effort to do so. One day I'm going to throw a rock at her and test my theory.
2. I watched the beginning of The Biggest Loser the other night. It's a new one where the competition is between three or four families of four. They all work in restaurants. In the little intro video they show to introduce each family they talked about how it's a "nibble" here and a "bite" there and they taste things all day long! I worked in a restaurant and never once, not even one time, did I "nibble" food. That's just kind of unusual, I think. Maybe I just never noticed people nibbling though. It sems like that would be against the rules, don't you think?
3. I love Lipton Diet teas. Not the lemon - ack! gag! barf! I absolutle LUH-HUV the Diet Peach tea and the Diet Raspberry tea. Oh, so tasty and the fruitiness covers up the dietness.
4. This is the first time I've watched Beauty and the Geek. It's pretty good so far. I like Joe and Brittany! Go girl and geek!
5. Finally, I have officially met the laziest person on the planet. I don't think she'd step out of the way if a meteor was headed straight for her because it would take too much effort to do so. One day I'm going to throw a rock at her and test my theory.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Smells Like Shopper Spirit
I had a fabulous time shopping today! I had the day off so I met my mom and Laura at the mall of Louisiana and spent 6 hours shopping. It was wonderful. I got some UH-MAZING deals (one in particular - I got a suit, which is super cute and not at all stuffy looking, for 95% off!). I absolutely love when the clothing seasons change. Stuff gets marked so cheap! It's so exciting for me.
In other news...I'm afraid to walk past the bats during the night. They live at the EJ stadium one block over from our house. So, when the three of us go walking we hear them all sqeaking and it freaks me out. I think they're going to bite my ear when I'm not looking. So I feel like I have to watch the stadium the whole time we're walking past it. They only sqeak when it's dark. I can't wait until the days last longer. Eeeeek!
In other news...I'm afraid to walk past the bats during the night. They live at the EJ stadium one block over from our house. So, when the three of us go walking we hear them all sqeaking and it freaks me out. I think they're going to bite my ear when I'm not looking. So I feel like I have to watch the stadium the whole time we're walking past it. They only sqeak when it's dark. I can't wait until the days last longer. Eeeeek!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
It's not just the rich and famous who have a life coach.
There are two names that I frequently call my dog, whose real name is Coca Cola (aka Coca). I call her "Cokes" and "Pooch." Sometimes I slip up and accidentally call her "Coach" It ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS makes me laugh because I'm in trouble if she's my coach. I think she'd coach me to pull all inner soles out of all shoes. She'd also make me run stadiums.
Today I was sanding down a vanity that needs to be refinished. Unfortunately I was not wearing my hair in a ponytail and, yes it's true, my hair got caught in the motor of the sander. Fortunately it then shut itself off. I don't know if it has a automatic shut-off method that senses when the user is having an incredibly dumb moment, or what. I pulled my hair out of the sander and all is well now.
I also got the hiccups today. Thank you, Kent. The ONLY WAY I get hiccups is from laughing alot and Kent made me laugh because he laughed really loud in my face. It makes me laugh just thinking about it now (sidenote: my hiccups are absurdly obnoxious and I hate them).
Nite!
Today I was sanding down a vanity that needs to be refinished. Unfortunately I was not wearing my hair in a ponytail and, yes it's true, my hair got caught in the motor of the sander. Fortunately it then shut itself off. I don't know if it has a automatic shut-off method that senses when the user is having an incredibly dumb moment, or what. I pulled my hair out of the sander and all is well now.
I also got the hiccups today. Thank you, Kent. The ONLY WAY I get hiccups is from laughing alot and Kent made me laugh because he laughed really loud in my face. It makes me laugh just thinking about it now (sidenote: my hiccups are absurdly obnoxious and I hate them).
Nite!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Which one really happened?
1. My former boss (from the job I quit in October) called me today. He said the properties did, indeed, sell and they're closing the office (just as I suspected they would, which was one of the many many reasons I quit). He said the new management company asked him to join them and he was calling to ask me to come back and work with him. (Just some background here...When I quit, he said I was the best person he ever worked with and the most honest. Anyway...) It would just be him, me and maintenance guys. I said that I'd need some more details as I began thinking about the fact that it would definitely pay more than my current job. He wanted to meet for lunch next week and discuss it. As I turned it over in my brain while he continued to talk, I remembered what a life of misery I led working for him in the past. I decided to just tell him that I'm happy where I am and I'm not interested in changing jobs for the 3rd time since we moved to N.O. He tried to convince me that it would be a good opportunity and they'd pay me more than I was making when I used to work for him. I stuck to my guns though and told him no, AGAIN. This time I mentioned that I did not want to work in a Satellite office again and that the company I'm with is big into education and promoting from within. I thanked him for considering me and told him that I considered it a complement. I also told him that if I had any friends in N.O. that I could recommend, I would do so. Then we hung up. Done.
2. My former boss (from the job I quit in October) called me today. He said the properties did, indeed, sell and they're closing the office (just as I suspected they would, which was one of the many many reasons I quit). He said the new management company asked him to join them and he was calling to ask me to come back and work with him. (Just some background here...When I quit, he said I was the best person he ever worked with and the most honest. Anyway...) It would just be him, me and maintenance guys. I told him I'd rather work in a dungeon cleaning the toenails of dead men. Then I explained how I dreaded everyday I'd see him and would pretend to be on the phone when he'd walk in the room sometimes so I wouldn't have to talk to him. I then wished him good luck on his life long aspiration of wasting valuable company time and pushing his work off on other people. I also said if I see any suckers I'll send them his way. Then I hung up my phone and smashed it into thousands of pieces, which I flushed down the toilet, so he'd never, ever call me again.
2. My former boss (from the job I quit in October) called me today. He said the properties did, indeed, sell and they're closing the office (just as I suspected they would, which was one of the many many reasons I quit). He said the new management company asked him to join them and he was calling to ask me to come back and work with him. (Just some background here...When I quit, he said I was the best person he ever worked with and the most honest. Anyway...) It would just be him, me and maintenance guys. I told him I'd rather work in a dungeon cleaning the toenails of dead men. Then I explained how I dreaded everyday I'd see him and would pretend to be on the phone when he'd walk in the room sometimes so I wouldn't have to talk to him. I then wished him good luck on his life long aspiration of wasting valuable company time and pushing his work off on other people. I also said if I see any suckers I'll send them his way. Then I hung up my phone and smashed it into thousands of pieces, which I flushed down the toilet, so he'd never, ever call me again.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Give me one moment in time
Today I've been reorganizing and de-cluttering our house. At the same time I've been gathering items for a garage sale. I haven't made it to my closet or dresser yet because I know that will be the most difficult. The thing is, the way I remember stuff is by what I was wearing. That may sound shallow, and maybe it is, but that's how I figure out what year it was or how old I was when something happened. It's the thing that sticks out in my memory. So, since my memories are stuffed with all my old clothes if I got rid of them would my memory suddenly become deflated?
Yeah, whatever, it's really not that big of a deal.
The bigger reason I don't want to get rid of clothes is that I will eventually wear them all! When I get rid of something I always miss it. What if I lose weight? I'll need the small clothes. What if I gain weight? I'll need the big clothes. What If spikes grow out of my back? I'll need the t-shirt with holes in the back. Most importantly what if that other striped sock comes back to find his long lost love? I'll need to make sure she's here to greet him.
Yeah, whatever, it's really not that big of a deal.
The bigger reason I don't want to get rid of clothes is that I will eventually wear them all! When I get rid of something I always miss it. What if I lose weight? I'll need the small clothes. What if I gain weight? I'll need the big clothes. What If spikes grow out of my back? I'll need the t-shirt with holes in the back. Most importantly what if that other striped sock comes back to find his long lost love? I'll need to make sure she's here to greet him.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Someone I don't know
After visiting a friend of Brian's blog and reading a "bathroom etiquette" post, I was so inspired to share a bathroom story of my own:
I was at Trinity Church in Lafayette for a Christmas service. I could hardly make it through the service because I'd just had a big drink before we went there. As soon as it was over I rushed to the bathroom. I opened the door and, unfortunately, ran into someone I knew. It was a lady from Zachary, a notorious talker, whose daughter and husband happened to go to Trinity. I tried to just say hi and move on but of course she wanted to chit chat. Luckily I was able to tear myself away and head into the stall. She, however, continued talking...blah blah blah, whatever. I was already annoyed that she was still talking to me while I was on the potty. I grab some toilet paper and as I look up at the door I notice SHE'S LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE CRACK BETWEEN THE DOOR AND THE SIDE OF THE STALL!!!! As if talking to me while I'm in the stall wasn't enough she has to watch me through the crack!! It wasn't like she had her eye pressed to the crack or anything. She was standing about 3 feet back but looking at me none the less. So, I came out of the stall and decided polite chit chat was no longer necessary and excused myself from the restroom. Now that's bad bathroom etiquette. What a weirdo.
I was at Trinity Church in Lafayette for a Christmas service. I could hardly make it through the service because I'd just had a big drink before we went there. As soon as it was over I rushed to the bathroom. I opened the door and, unfortunately, ran into someone I knew. It was a lady from Zachary, a notorious talker, whose daughter and husband happened to go to Trinity. I tried to just say hi and move on but of course she wanted to chit chat. Luckily I was able to tear myself away and head into the stall. She, however, continued talking...blah blah blah, whatever. I was already annoyed that she was still talking to me while I was on the potty. I grab some toilet paper and as I look up at the door I notice SHE'S LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE CRACK BETWEEN THE DOOR AND THE SIDE OF THE STALL!!!! As if talking to me while I'm in the stall wasn't enough she has to watch me through the crack!! It wasn't like she had her eye pressed to the crack or anything. She was standing about 3 feet back but looking at me none the less. So, I came out of the stall and decided polite chit chat was no longer necessary and excused myself from the restroom. Now that's bad bathroom etiquette. What a weirdo.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Happy Birthday Little Baby
Today was our child's birthday. She's one year old today. She actually shares a birthday with my grandpa and an aunt! Here are some pictures from her "party."
Saturday, December 24, 2005
One sick puppy
I am sick. Phlegmy cough, snotty nose, fever and all. All the makings of a Norman Rockwell Christmas. Well, not quite Norman Rockwell, with the snot and everything, but nothing will spoil my Christmas fun. It started off good on our ride to Zachary last night. Traffic wasn't too bad at all.
It's been a tad difficult to shop for Christmas this year. Everything around us, except Best Buy, closes at 7PM so that gives me about 1 1/2 hours after work or Saturdays. But we battled the Saturday crowd last weekend and got it done. I like Christmas shopping though. Even though it was crowded, I had a great time and we got alot done! It is not a chore to me.
Here's something kind of off the subject...Low rise pants...I and most other girls are wearing them now. However, I would like to make a suggestion. I am rather tired of seeing random girls' plumber impersonations. Please wear longer shirts or bigger underwear. No more crack in 2006.
It's been a tad difficult to shop for Christmas this year. Everything around us, except Best Buy, closes at 7PM so that gives me about 1 1/2 hours after work or Saturdays. But we battled the Saturday crowd last weekend and got it done. I like Christmas shopping though. Even though it was crowded, I had a great time and we got alot done! It is not a chore to me.
Here's something kind of off the subject...Low rise pants...I and most other girls are wearing them now. However, I would like to make a suggestion. I am rather tired of seeing random girls' plumber impersonations. Please wear longer shirts or bigger underwear. No more crack in 2006.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Surprise! You're in trouble!
So, part of my job is that I have to inspect the work that was done after each contractor works in the vacant apartment that I'm getting ready for a new person. Yesterday I'd gone to walk a couple of apartments to check out the paint job that was done. The first one was fine...just smelled a little weird. The second one took me by surprise:
I stuck my key in the door and unlocked the deadbolt. As I opened the door I saw three Hispanic men in crouched positions, moving quickly to stand, all with their hands on the floor. At first I said, "oh, I didn't know the carpet was being installed today?" Then, as things continued clicking in my brain, I realized that there were no carpet laying tools in there and that apartment wasn't getting new carpet anyway. I soon recognized the man in the red shirt as one of the guys doing our sheetrock repairs from Katrina damage. As I surveyed the scene even more I realized they all looked a little sleepy (especially one, he looked like the sandman beat him with his sack of sand).
Those guys were SLEEPING! Sleeping on the job!
So, now I'm alone in a vacant apartment with three men who I've just seen doing something they could get fired for doing. I decided not to tell them that I knew they were sleeping because well, I was alone in a vacant apartment with three men who I've just seen doing something they could get fired for doing. They went into some schpeel about the "W" building and the repairs and blah blah blah...I guess he wanted me to think they were sitting in there having a meeting about the "W" building. Whatever. So, I got them out of the apartment and then did my little inspection.
Of course I made sure their supervisor was well aware of what happened and gave him a description of the guys. He assured me it would not happen again.
Busto!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005
To the tune of "My Humps"...
Yes, that's right, "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas (by the way, we at Jessica's Big Ideas would like to remind you that this song does not necessarily represent the views of this blog). We went to the christmas tree farm yesterday to get a tree with my family and I was so inspired to change the words from the song "My Humps" to:
What'ch ya gonna do with all these trees
All these trees up in these weeds
I'ma cut cut cut down uh tree
Cut down uh a tree just for me
That song is so diggity diggity dumb. However, I cannot help but to sing and dance when I hear it. UGH!
What'ch ya gonna do with all these trees
All these trees up in these weeds
I'ma cut cut cut down uh tree
Cut down uh a tree just for me
That song is so diggity diggity dumb. However, I cannot help but to sing and dance when I hear it. UGH!
Monday, December 05, 2005
You try to do something nice and you end up with road rage!
The traffic around the area I work can be a tad hectic at times. I don't work in the middle of the city or anything, but it is a high traffic shopping area.
So, I was waiting to turn left into a parking lot and this other lady was waiting to turn left out of the parking lot. I decided to let her go first becuase I ...can't remember why...but I did. So, I motioned to her and she j u s t s a t t h e r e. THEN she started swinging her hand at me like she was swatting away a fly as if to say "GO!! Idiot girl in the silver car with the missing hubcap!" and I was just trying to help her! So, then I got a bit irritated at her and proceded to say, outloud, alone in my car, while waving my hands around like I'm on a deserted island trying to signal an airplane, "Well, I was going to let you go. But you got all ugly with your little hand wave. See if I let you out again!"
Yes, it was very effective. I'm sure she is an expert lip reader and she's just been waiting all her life for me to let her onto the road. I'll bet she doesn't even drive anymore because she knows I will not let her out again. It's usually only after the rage that I realize how ridiculous I look sometimes.
So, I was waiting to turn left into a parking lot and this other lady was waiting to turn left out of the parking lot. I decided to let her go first becuase I ...can't remember why...but I did. So, I motioned to her and she j u s t s a t t h e r e. THEN she started swinging her hand at me like she was swatting away a fly as if to say "GO!! Idiot girl in the silver car with the missing hubcap!" and I was just trying to help her! So, then I got a bit irritated at her and proceded to say, outloud, alone in my car, while waving my hands around like I'm on a deserted island trying to signal an airplane, "Well, I was going to let you go. But you got all ugly with your little hand wave. See if I let you out again!"
Yes, it was very effective. I'm sure she is an expert lip reader and she's just been waiting all her life for me to let her onto the road. I'll bet she doesn't even drive anymore because she knows I will not let her out again. It's usually only after the rage that I realize how ridiculous I look sometimes.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
I speak England Fluently
Last week I was at the bank drive through window. Un-beknownst to me I had five transactions rather than three. So the lady at the window said, "I'll do it for you this time, but next time you can only have three." So, I told her I was sorry and that I didn't realize. As she sent back the deposit receipt and wished me a nice day I tried to tell her I'm sorry again and thank you. But, it just came out, "I'm thank you." And then I drove away and laughed at how I don' t know how to talk.
That actually happens fairly often to me. I'll be thinking of saying two things and they just come out combined rather than separate statements. I guess my brain is just overloaded sometimes.
...in other news...
I'm in Zachary today. I had a day off because I'm working this Saturday. It's kind of refreshing to switch around like that. It breaks up the monotony of the work week. Although I had to leave Kent and the Cokes at home :(
We're making a Christmas craft today and doing a tad of shopping. It should be way fun! I love Christmas!
That actually happens fairly often to me. I'll be thinking of saying two things and they just come out combined rather than separate statements. I guess my brain is just overloaded sometimes.
...in other news...
I'm in Zachary today. I had a day off because I'm working this Saturday. It's kind of refreshing to switch around like that. It breaks up the monotony of the work week. Although I had to leave Kent and the Cokes at home :(
We're making a Christmas craft today and doing a tad of shopping. It should be way fun! I love Christmas!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Not thankful for Cranberry Sauce *gag*
This Thanksgiving we're in New Orleans because I'm working the day after. We are, however, going to Lafayette on Friday evening. This is the Coca's first Thanksgiving. I will explain to her what it is all about tomorrow (just kidding, I'm really not that weird). We're going out to eat with my Grandma and Grandpa and my Aunt Margaret. I will bring Coca a tiny plate of leftovers (I am that weird).
Tonight I pulled out the old faithful Karaoke machine. Oh 'tis my favorite toy. *sigh*
We bought the first Christmas gift today.
I ran smack dab, regular walking speed into a man today. It really hurt. We exchanged embarassed "Sorries" and both said, "I wasn't watching where I was going." I actually didn't even know what happened for a minute. I just felt pain. (A few minutes later as the pain was still there, I asked Kent if he happened to see a syringe in that man's hand. He might've injected me with a disease. Kent said, "No, do you see a hole in your arm?")
I started to list what I'm thankful to God for, but it got really long because I didn't want to leave anything out. So, I'm thankful...for alot. Happy Thanksgiving Kiddies!!
Tonight I pulled out the old faithful Karaoke machine. Oh 'tis my favorite toy. *sigh*
We bought the first Christmas gift today.
I ran smack dab, regular walking speed into a man today. It really hurt. We exchanged embarassed "Sorries" and both said, "I wasn't watching where I was going." I actually didn't even know what happened for a minute. I just felt pain. (A few minutes later as the pain was still there, I asked Kent if he happened to see a syringe in that man's hand. He might've injected me with a disease. Kent said, "No, do you see a hole in your arm?")
I started to list what I'm thankful to God for, but it got really long because I didn't want to leave anything out. So, I'm thankful...for alot. Happy Thanksgiving Kiddies!!
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
How could you not love them?
"The best friend man has in the world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son, or daughter, that he has reared with loving care may prove ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us, those whom we trust with our happiness and good name may become traitors to their faith. The money a man has he may lose. It flies away from him, perhaps when he needs it most. A man's reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill-considered action. The people who are prone to fall on their knees when success is with us may be the first to throw the stone of malice when failure settles its cloud upon our head."
"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. A man's dog stands by him in prosperity and poverty, in health and in sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground when the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only to be near his master's side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounters with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. "
"When all other friends desert, he remains. When riches take wing, and reputation falls to pieces, he is as constant in his love as the sun in its journey through the heavens."
"If fortune drives his master forth, an outcast in the world, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him, to guard him against danger, to fight against his enemies,. And when that last scene of all comes, and death takes his master in its embrace and his body is laid away in the cold ground, no matter if all other friends pursue their way, there, by the graveside will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws, his eyes sad, but open in alert watchfulness, faithful and true, even in death."
--Senator George Graham Vest, speaking to a jury about Old Drum, shot in 1869. Johnson County Circuit Court, Warrensburg, Missouri
"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. A man's dog stands by him in prosperity and poverty, in health and in sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground when the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only to be near his master's side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounters with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. "
"When all other friends desert, he remains. When riches take wing, and reputation falls to pieces, he is as constant in his love as the sun in its journey through the heavens."
"If fortune drives his master forth, an outcast in the world, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him, to guard him against danger, to fight against his enemies,. And when that last scene of all comes, and death takes his master in its embrace and his body is laid away in the cold ground, no matter if all other friends pursue their way, there, by the graveside will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws, his eyes sad, but open in alert watchfulness, faithful and true, even in death."
--Senator George Graham Vest, speaking to a jury about Old Drum, shot in 1869. Johnson County Circuit Court, Warrensburg, Missouri
Friday, November 18, 2005
My Little Friend
Audience of One
Kent is my built-in audience. As long as he's laughing, I keep joking. Tonight on the way home from dinner I was making up songs about the people we passed in their cars. Of course, he was laughing so I was not stopping. Here are a few of them (of course you won't get to hear the tune. Just try to make your own.):
Your driving in your beamerrrrr
as your daughter picks her nose
I see it through the windows
I'm reaching for something on the floor
Maybe change, a pen or more
But whatever it is I tell you this
Have a very Merry Christmas
As you smoke your cigarette
the grim reaper slowly comes
What will you do
when you've blackened your lungs
Your driving in your beamerrrrr
as your daughter picks her nose
I see it through the windows
I'm reaching for something on the floor
Maybe change, a pen or more
But whatever it is I tell you this
Have a very Merry Christmas
As you smoke your cigarette
the grim reaper slowly comes
What will you do
when you've blackened your lungs
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
My Chemical Romance
No, seriously it's my chemical romance! Not anyone elses.
Anyway, I am way into My Chemical Romance (It's a band for those of you who may not know). They are currently my favorite "now" band. Of course I have my all time favorites that change about every 10 years, but they're my favorite current band, for the time being.
Call me a 15-year-old goth wanna be with torn stockings and a Nightmare Before Christmas T-Shirt spending my babysitting money at Hot Topic, but I like 'em.
(nothing against Nightmare Before Christmas, I actually really like that movie)
Anyway, I am way into My Chemical Romance (It's a band for those of you who may not know). They are currently my favorite "now" band. Of course I have my all time favorites that change about every 10 years, but they're my favorite current band, for the time being.
Call me a 15-year-old goth wanna be with torn stockings and a Nightmare Before Christmas T-Shirt spending my babysitting money at Hot Topic, but I like 'em.
(nothing against Nightmare Before Christmas, I actually really like that movie)
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
MRE for ME
Friday night I had my very first MRE. The big bag said "Beef Ravioli". But it was oh-so-much more than just that.
(Pictured above: Not actually what was in my MRE, but an example)
Oh yeah, and it also had this self-heating bag (the green thing in the picture above) to heat it in. I decided to heat it in the microwave though because I'm sort of lazy. Turns out that was a bad idea because when I opened the microwave to take the food out a hot piece of meat popped out and burned me on the chin. Then my dog, the cokes, ate it and burned her little mouthy. Poor poochy.
Anyway, it was really good. If they didn't have a google calories in each pack I would want to buy MREs to eat for dinner every night.
Speaking of MREs (actually I have no idea if this even has an MRE in it) I want to see the movie Jarhead.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
I need to be a neater eater...
Today, I stuck my finger in my ear to scratch it or whatever I do with my finger in my ear and do you know what came out? A toasted sesame seed - and I don't remember the last time I ate sesame seeds. I know it wasn't this week. Maybe instead of eating neater I need to clean my ears more. Or maybe, I need to stop revealing my personal hygiene habits to all of the internet, being as my last post mentioned my lack of flossing.
By the by...I'm posting more because I'm in a better mood because my current job (unlike my previous job) doesn't make me want to strangle someone.
By the by...I'm posting more because I'm in a better mood because my current job (unlike my previous job) doesn't make me want to strangle someone.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you, Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you, But in your dreams, whatever they be, Dream a little dream of me-
- or of teeth.
The night before last I had a dream that I've dreamt oh-so-many times. Surprise, surprise, my teeth are falling out. All of the sudden out of nowhere, I can feel with my tongue that all of my teeth are loose. Just like when I was a kid, I try to twist them with my tongue, but they won't twist, even though they're all hanging by a thread. I don't go to the dentist. I'm just desperate to get them out of my mouth. I continue to wiggle them with my tongue and then try to spit some out. What I spit into my hand is a handful of tooth pieces and splinters, absolutely no whole teeth. I'm horrified and know that I will never be able to get them repaired because it's too expensive. Then I wake up and feel around with my tongue to make sure my teeth are all there.
According to a dream interpretation website teeth dreams:
"...might have a physical origin in people gritting or grinding teeth during sleep. Freud suggested that dreams of teeth falling out are related to fears of castration, but women have this dream as often as men, Garfield says. She believes the tooth troubles in dreams are related to anger, with a dreamer acting out the clenching of his teeth. Other psychologists believe the dream reflects anxiety about appearance and how others perceive you."
I think it might be from the fact that I eat too much candy and I never floss. Seriously, when I go to the dentist and they ask me how often I floss, I actually say, "I don't floss, except for right before I come here."
The night before last I had a dream that I've dreamt oh-so-many times. Surprise, surprise, my teeth are falling out. All of the sudden out of nowhere, I can feel with my tongue that all of my teeth are loose. Just like when I was a kid, I try to twist them with my tongue, but they won't twist, even though they're all hanging by a thread. I don't go to the dentist. I'm just desperate to get them out of my mouth. I continue to wiggle them with my tongue and then try to spit some out. What I spit into my hand is a handful of tooth pieces and splinters, absolutely no whole teeth. I'm horrified and know that I will never be able to get them repaired because it's too expensive. Then I wake up and feel around with my tongue to make sure my teeth are all there.
According to a dream interpretation website teeth dreams:
"...might have a physical origin in people gritting or grinding teeth during sleep. Freud suggested that dreams of teeth falling out are related to fears of castration, but women have this dream as often as men, Garfield says. She believes the tooth troubles in dreams are related to anger, with a dreamer acting out the clenching of his teeth. Other psychologists believe the dream reflects anxiety about appearance and how others perceive you."
I think it might be from the fact that I eat too much candy and I never floss. Seriously, when I go to the dentist and they ask me how often I floss, I actually say, "I don't floss, except for right before I come here."
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Unga...me work in time warp
So, my new job...it's just what I wanted. Less stress, less responsibility, just less. What's funny is that I feel like I'm in the stone age because I do not have a computer. Have you ever heard of a management position without a computer? Weird. But, I don't really care. It's almost relaxing to write with a pen. Besides, the less tools I have, the less work I can do, right?
Allllll-right
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
No more cha-cha-cha
My dog's bowel movements are back to normal! YAY! I'd taken her to the vet on Friday for some problems she was having. The doc said it was from stress. This morning she pooped a solid one. I was so excited (I am so pathetic). So, I'm happy today.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
City of Separation
Kent and I are in Lafayette this weekend, actually until about 5 PM today. If we did not get a chance to see you I'm very sorry. This weekend was packed but I had a great time.
I am not good at making friends. I don't think I've made any new friends since Kellie back in 1998 if you don't count people who married into the "friendship" (maybe I'm forgetting someone, if I am it's not that I'm forgetting you, it's just that I am not good at remembering when things happen). This weekend Kellie and Gene and Stacey and Jeremy were in town. Plus, Kirstin and Jeremy D. already live here so I was so happy we could all hang out on Friday! I just don't think I'll ever make any other friends that I can just litterally, sit around with for hours. It just won't happen. I seriously don't think I'll meet anyone in New Orleans and then hang out at their house until 1 or 2 in the morning. You just can't talk about gas and vomit with nouveau friends (not that I have any. We did start to make friends with this one couple. We even went out to eat with them and it was great fun, but then the hurricane came and they never came back to New Orleans).
It was great seeing people at the football game too. I hadn't seen Brent in about 17 years so that was super fun. Some other people (namely one that my mom sent chocolate covered cherries to) I haven't seen in a long long time were not in town, so that would have made it complete.
So, the weekend is coming to a close. I know we'll see a lot of the people the next time we come to Lafayette (which is the end of November, btw). And I know we won't see a lot of them for 17 more years. Unless some of you move back to Louisiana and I would be stoked.
Time to end this mushy post.
I am not good at making friends. I don't think I've made any new friends since Kellie back in 1998 if you don't count people who married into the "friendship" (maybe I'm forgetting someone, if I am it's not that I'm forgetting you, it's just that I am not good at remembering when things happen). This weekend Kellie and Gene and Stacey and Jeremy were in town. Plus, Kirstin and Jeremy D. already live here so I was so happy we could all hang out on Friday! I just don't think I'll ever make any other friends that I can just litterally, sit around with for hours. It just won't happen. I seriously don't think I'll meet anyone in New Orleans and then hang out at their house until 1 or 2 in the morning. You just can't talk about gas and vomit with nouveau friends (not that I have any. We did start to make friends with this one couple. We even went out to eat with them and it was great fun, but then the hurricane came and they never came back to New Orleans).
It was great seeing people at the football game too. I hadn't seen Brent in about 17 years so that was super fun. Some other people (namely one that my mom sent chocolate covered cherries to) I haven't seen in a long long time were not in town, so that would have made it complete.
So, the weekend is coming to a close. I know we'll see a lot of the people the next time we come to Lafayette (which is the end of November, btw). And I know we won't see a lot of them for 17 more years. Unless some of you move back to Louisiana and I would be stoked.
Time to end this mushy post.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Quizzes...oh yes, you do love them.
| Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible |
 |
| Your Monster Profile |
 You Feast On: Armadillos You Lurk Around In: Roller Rinks You Especially Like to Torment: Blondes |
| Your Brain's Pattern |
 You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination. |
| Slow and Steady |
 Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it. |
Sunday, October 23, 2005
20 Random Things You May Not Know About Me
- I don't eat plain eggs (only eggs in cakes, cookies, etc.).
- If my dog doesn't poop all day I get stressed out.
- If I know my feet stink, I will purposely smell them several times before washing them.
- Sometimes I rub my left eyebrow when I'm thinking.
- I don't watch movies about demons or the devil (they give me nightmares).
- I'd like it if the "bad guy", in movies, could win more often.
- When I'm alone in the car I try to identify what make and model the cars around me are before I get close enough to read it. When I'm right, I actually say, in a whisper, "Yes!"
- Jello, yogurt and (more than two bites) pudding make me physically gag.
- I can't throw away glass jars.
- When I meet someone new I rarely realize they're telling me their name. When I walk away I think, "I have no idea what she just said her name is."
- I love the smell of school bus exhaust. I think it smells like potato salad and it makes me hungry.
- I love to look up images on google.
- I used to want to be a Marine Biologist.
- Sometimes when I walk behind someone who's smoking I enjoy the smell and continue walking behind them. Other times it makes me feel sick.
- I go to sporting events for the concessions.
- I forget to wear deodorant at least once a week.
- I like seeing really big spiders and I won't kill them because once, when I was a kid we killed a big spider and its babies went everywhere. Laura and I were really sad for them and we put a big rubber spider where the momma was so maybe the babies would feel better.
- I am afraid of roaches laying eggs in my ears.
- Sometimes I sing the national anthem, just because I feel like it.
- I can't help but look if someone's cards are in full view. But then I'll throw them whatever they need rather than what I need because I feel guilty.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
I'm sorry you caught me accidentally trying to steal your dog.
I saw a Rat Terrier (dog) that I'd never seen before running around in our neighborhood last weekend. It was cute, but I didn't try to catch it. Of course, the next day I see signs posted all over:
LOST RAT TERRIER
WHITE WITH BLACK SPOTS
SICK - NEEDS MEDICATION
NAME - ROXIE
That always happens, every time I decide not to catch a stray dog, I find a sign that someone is missing it. So, I felt bad, but I moved on.
Thursday, I came home from locking up the buildings at work and there was that same Rat Terrier running around the street. So, I decided I would catch it and call her owner. So I parked the car in our driveway, got out, and said:
"Come 'ere, Come on little pup, Come see."
She just stared at me. So, I squatted down and while tapping my leg (which most dogs associate with come) said:
"Awe...come 'ere. Come see. Come on."
She began to wag her tail and look really excited. So, then I decided to clap my hands a few times and call her again:
CLAP CLAP CLAP
"Come on!"
That was her cue! She came running towards me. She only got about half way to me though when a man talking on a cordless phone stepped out from behind the bushes by his house. He looked at me (all irritated like), looked at his dog and told her:
"Let's go!"
And the dog ran back with him. I guess it wasn't Roxie.
I waved to the man as I stood up and tried to play it off like I was just trying to be friendly, but he didn't wave back. I guess I would have been pretty mad too if someone was trying to get my dog. Next time I try to catch a dog I'm going to make sure there aren't any people around.
So, anyway, Mr. Down the Street talks on a Cordless phone, I'm sorry you caught me accidentally trying to steal your dog.
Friday, October 21, 2005
So, I once wrote about how much I loved the Magic Bullet...
(btw...I had to backspace the title because I was typing "once" as "wants" weird.)
Well, now I'm going to tell you why I'm in love with the Magic Bullet:
Magic Bullet, you are wonderful.
Well, now I'm going to tell you why I'm in love with the Magic Bullet:
- Because it makes the smoothest smoothies ever.
- Because it turns cubes of cheddar cheese into a cheese spread, allowing me to make an 8 oz block of cheese last for 4 meals! (Quesildillas (twice), Grilled Cheeses and Black Bean and Cheese burritos).
- Because when I cook black beans and then attempt to "refry" them to make them refried black beans only I can't mash them up as well as if I bought it canned I put them in the Magic Bullet and they come out PERFECTO!
- Because I can use left over juices from canned fruit! Pear juice, ice, magic bullet = amazing Pear Sorbet!
- Because it's so crazily fast! That pear sorbet I was talking about...seriously 45 seconds.
Magic Bullet, you are wonderful.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
Birds & Bats
All of the tree debris in Jefferson parish is being taken to our very own Lafreniere park. The mounds are HUGE! They are turning into mulch and you can smell it when you drive by. I think it smells good and I always take a big whiff. Anyway, there are alot of ducks, swans and cranes that live in that park and I was wondering where they went with all of those mountains of trees taking up their space. Kent thought they might not have made it through the storm, but then he spotted a great big group of them in one of the parking lots. It was really funny to me because it was like they were having a meeting deciding what to do about this mess in their park. I was glad to see there were alot of them still alive and that they were developing a plan of action.
Today, I saw a blue jay land on the fence with a whole pecan, in the shell, in his mouth. I wondered how he planned to crack it. That's a hard nut to crack. (not really, I just wanted to say that. Brazil nuts and chestnuts...now those are hard nuts to crack)
Kent, Coca and I went for a walk tonight and we walked behind the EJ stadium. We could hear bats squeaking. At first I though, "Oh Neat!!" Then I got a little weirded out and imagined them attacking us.
Today, I saw a blue jay land on the fence with a whole pecan, in the shell, in his mouth. I wondered how he planned to crack it. That's a hard nut to crack. (not really, I just wanted to say that. Brazil nuts and chestnuts...now those are hard nuts to crack)
Kent, Coca and I went for a walk tonight and we walked behind the EJ stadium. We could hear bats squeaking. At first I though, "Oh Neat!!" Then I got a little weirded out and imagined them attacking us.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
11 Months, 2 Weeks and 1 Day
Well, I put in my two weeks notice today. But, I did set a new record for myself. On my last day (which will be October 28th, by the way)I will have worked there for 11 Months, 2 Weeks and 1 Day. I've accepted a job at another property management company, residential property management. I'll provide more details later, but Kent and I both think its the right move.
YAY!
YAY!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
What Rock Band Am I?
You're the Yeah Yeah Yeahs!
You can't really predict what song they'll come up with next!
What Rock Band Are you? ( Updated )
brought to you by Quizilla
Monday, October 10, 2005
There's something in the water...
Why do soap opera characters get amnesia or go in to comas so often? If I lived in that imaginary city I would think something is very wrong. It is not normal for that many people to have amnesia or go into a coma.
The writers should give them Lock Jaw or Scabies just to "mix it up" a little.
The writers should give them Lock Jaw or Scabies just to "mix it up" a little.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
I Iike them?
I know alot of songs. Kent calls me the human juke box. The thing is, I can sing almost any song, but I never know who actually sings them. In fact, as songs I like would come on the radio I'd ask Kent "who sings that?" (He always knows) and I've learned that I am a fan of bands that I really didn't think I even liked. Here they are, in the order in which their pictures were saved to our hard drive.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Jackets
I wore a jacket today!! In Louisiana...New Orleans, Louisiana. It was wonderful. I even got wind burn on my lips
Here's some new stuff in J & J Caperton Land:
If I make a constant "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound while Kent grabs my back and shakes me. I can't help it, I have to laugh. I try so hard not to laugh, but I just can't do it. It's like an automatic laugh button. If I don't make the sound then I don't laugh. There's just something about the combination of "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and a good shaking that CRACKS ME UP!
We are having a gnat problem. In the yard, in the kitchen, in our room, by the trash....gnats, ugh. I really don't know what to do about them. If you can remember the fly incident you know how bug infestations get me worked up. If you don't know the fly incident here's a recap:
Kent and I were getting ready to leave for vacation about 2 years ago. We were living in Lafayette in the townhouse. First of all we kept smelling something REALLY, REALLY stinky. I thought it was something dead in the wall (it wasn't, but that's another story for another post...well not really it's not that long. It turns out that the stinky smell was actually the water heater, located in a closet in our bedroom. The plug had been burning up, everyday as the water heater heated water. It even burned in our sleep! Very, scarry, but at the time of the flies we didn't know that was the problem). So, anyway I'd killed so many flies that day...seriously I think the total was 29. I thought that something was dead in the wall and the flies were feeding on it. I was so grossed out and I was losing it. The final straw was when I smacked a fly on a light fixture and the fixture broke in half. I then called Kent at work with that familiar "I was bluh blah blah boo hoo hoo and then I boo hoo blahh wahh" combination of crying and talking that he and my mom know so well. I'd finally freaked out and was crying and crying because I couldn't kill all the flies. There were just too many. He told me to get out of the house, but unfortunately my car was kaput at that time...Infestations...not my thing. As if anyone really digs a bug infestation? "Man, I'd really like alot of ants in my house!"
I don't understand why so many refridgerators are being thrown away just because they had moldy food. They're just put out by the street and taped shut. I'd understand if they were flooded or in a house that's been flooded, but alot of the ones I've seen aren't. Clean it out. Yeah, its gross, but it's over in just an hour or so and you don't have to waste a whole appliance. It's all I can do to keep myself from picking them up off the side of the road. I love trash.
Here's some new stuff in J & J Caperton Land:
If I make a constant "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound while Kent grabs my back and shakes me. I can't help it, I have to laugh. I try so hard not to laugh, but I just can't do it. It's like an automatic laugh button. If I don't make the sound then I don't laugh. There's just something about the combination of "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and a good shaking that CRACKS ME UP!
We are having a gnat problem. In the yard, in the kitchen, in our room, by the trash....gnats, ugh. I really don't know what to do about them. If you can remember the fly incident you know how bug infestations get me worked up. If you don't know the fly incident here's a recap:
Kent and I were getting ready to leave for vacation about 2 years ago. We were living in Lafayette in the townhouse. First of all we kept smelling something REALLY, REALLY stinky. I thought it was something dead in the wall (it wasn't, but that's another story for another post...well not really it's not that long. It turns out that the stinky smell was actually the water heater, located in a closet in our bedroom. The plug had been burning up, everyday as the water heater heated water. It even burned in our sleep! Very, scarry, but at the time of the flies we didn't know that was the problem). So, anyway I'd killed so many flies that day...seriously I think the total was 29. I thought that something was dead in the wall and the flies were feeding on it. I was so grossed out and I was losing it. The final straw was when I smacked a fly on a light fixture and the fixture broke in half. I then called Kent at work with that familiar "I was bluh blah blah boo hoo hoo and then I boo hoo blahh wahh" combination of crying and talking that he and my mom know so well. I'd finally freaked out and was crying and crying because I couldn't kill all the flies. There were just too many. He told me to get out of the house, but unfortunately my car was kaput at that time...Infestations...not my thing. As if anyone really digs a bug infestation? "Man, I'd really like alot of ants in my house!"
I don't understand why so many refridgerators are being thrown away just because they had moldy food. They're just put out by the street and taped shut. I'd understand if they were flooded or in a house that's been flooded, but alot of the ones I've seen aren't. Clean it out. Yeah, its gross, but it's over in just an hour or so and you don't have to waste a whole appliance. It's all I can do to keep myself from picking them up off the side of the road. I love trash.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Should I move on?
Today, as I sat in a hot parking garage, having just called someone to find out when I could come vacuum their office, I got another call asking that I come remove the trash from their office. Last week I splashed toilet water all over me as I tried to unclog the toilet in a Women's Clinic. That same day, I cleaned out ash trays. It was really special.
We all have to do a little extra since we're short handed due to the hurricane.
The weird thing is that the janitorial work I've done in the last few days have been the only good parts of my job (besides actually having a job) in the last three months. To me, there's something so much more satisfying about seeing clean sand in an ash tray than reporting why we were off budget by 5% in the month of July. Plus, when I'm doing janitorial work I'm all alone and that's how I prefer to work...in silence.
We all have to do a little extra since we're short handed due to the hurricane.
The weird thing is that the janitorial work I've done in the last few days have been the only good parts of my job (besides actually having a job) in the last three months. To me, there's something so much more satisfying about seeing clean sand in an ash tray than reporting why we were off budget by 5% in the month of July. Plus, when I'm doing janitorial work I'm all alone and that's how I prefer to work...in silence.
Oh Internet...I love you
WE HAVE THE INTERNET BACK! It had evacuated for the hurricane but now it's back. Safe and Sound. YAY!
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About Me
- Jessica
- I'm married to a man, have one baby girl named Julianne and one dog-child named Coca. The man is Professor Longhair.
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