"Oh, you haven't been through Navy Seal training? Then I just really don't think you have what it takes to order our office supplies."

Okay. So, lately the theme of the "I'm sorry we went with another candidate for the job" schpeel has been "You're too young", "I think you lack the maturity for this position" or "I just don't think you're tough enough." Come on people! I'm not asking you to make me a bouncer at a nightclub! I didn't realize I needed to go through boot camp to answer a phone and greet your clients. So, anyway I decided for my interview today I would be "tough, mature" Jessica. I don't think it worked out. I think it was more like "angry, scary, I will wait for you in the parking lot" Jessica. I made my voice be just a tad lower (because when I get nervous my voice turns into 8-year old Jessica) and I tried to act confident by making eye contact the whole time. (My eyes sort of look like they're going to pop out of my head if I'm interested in something and I was definately interested in the job). However, I got the feeling that she thought I was staring her down or trying to intimidate her. She kept looking away from me. I really wasn't trying to be intimidating. I just wanted to appear confident and professional with a "can-do" attitude (that was a job requirement). Instead I think I appeared to be agressive and angry, with an "I will cut you if you don't give me this job" attitude.

So, basically, I don't know how to go into an interview anymore. If I'm myself, I seem like a child who's not mature enough to do the job. If I'm professional (in my mind anyway), I seem like person in need of a psych evaluation.

Maybe tomorrow I will apply at a certain fabric and craft store for holiday help. Hopefully I will be tough enough and have the maturity level that is needed to direct someone to the sequins in the midst of restocking the buttons.