DO NOT scroll down if you don't want to see something sick!

Ewwww!! This was thrown to my aunt at the Mardi Gras parade we went to on Saturday. At first we thought it was fake and were all amazed at how realistic it looked. It has joints, ligaments and everything. Then, I thought I spotted a bone and decided not to touch it anymore just to be safe. Now, it is starting to stink. How totally disgusting!
Oh, and just in case you're still wondering....it's a chicken foot.

She's growing up so fast *tear*

Coca is officially a "big girl." Not only is she allowed to stay in the Living Room and hang out on the couch, on her blanket, while we're at work, but she starts Kindergarten on March 23rd. She is going to beginner obedience training for 8 weeks. Actually, we'll be going together on Thursday nights. I'm so excited.

I'm also off of work today and tomorrow and very excited about that, as well. Yay for Mardi Gras. Speaking of Mardi Gras, someone threw the sickest thing off of one of the floats on Saturday. I will post a picture of it later...gross.

My Summer Breeze Turned Into a North Wind

As the hair around my forehead blew ever-so-slightly in the breeze created by the fan, I fell asleep to the sound of Kent's breathing, which was, for the first time in months, not drowned out by the sound of the A/C or heater. It was fabulous. For the last two nights I've enjoyed sleeping in shorts and a tee and covering with just a sheet. It was warm and comfortable and it felt like Summer was on its way. I wore a skirt to work on Wednesday and bought some new strappy, black heels. I even contemplated putting on the Neutrogena tan this week. I am definitely ready for Summer (except for the swimsuit part - I'm never quite ready for that).

Even though I'm not in school anymore and off for the whole Summer, it's still my favorite time of the year. It's exciting...vacations, barbeques, my birthday, longer days, watermelon and West Nile.

Ahhh...Vacations. I never realized how much I absolutely loved going on vacation until I started working full-time. It was always great fun and I looked forward to them, but now, it's the pot of gold at the end of my yearly rainbow, it's the cherry on top of my year of Sundays, it's the flag atop my mountain of Mondays. I can smell it now...

Unfortunately, it's now 54 degrees! The low will be 43 tonight. I guess it's back to flannel PJ's, heavy blankets and the heater. Wah-wah. I know, I know, it's much colder in Denver...

You can make Jessica and Kent your friends for only $19.95; Act now and you'll also receive this FREE Handy Chopper!

As I've mentioned before, I'm not very good at making friends. I was reminded of my friend-making deficiency this Sunday. Kent and I are going to a new church now and are trying to meet some people. A married guy (with no apparent kids), probably about 3 or 4 years older than Kent, started talking to us. As he asked questions I went into the sales pitch. The "where I work." The "where I live." The "what makes me interesting." This is one of the two areas I completely fail when friend making. I'm no good at the sales pitch. I stumble on the words, sweat and have difficulty making eye contact. If I was selling crystal meth...maybe that would work, but not when I'm selling myself.

I also fail when it comes to closing the deal. I don't ask for phone numbers, email addresses or plan any follow-up visits. I usually just assume that I've failed to present myself as anything they'd be interested in and they will head on down to the next friend dealership along the highway.

I do however, have great customer service after the purchase has been made. Sure sometimes the line is busy, or there's a faulty part, but that's what recalls are for, right? The Jessica 2006 also comes with free tips on finding great deals on cute shoes and the latest technology in prank call making.

I Had To Burst My Bubble

I had this weird, white thing growing on my lower eye-lid. At fist I thought it was a sty. I was later informed that sties are red. Silly me. So, I thought it was just a little virus-like thing and it would go away on its own. Well, it had been, like, 2 weeks and it was still there. It was starting to get a little painful when I bumped it too. So, I decided to go to the doctor. All day long I was nervous, thinking he would have to stick it with a needle, scrape it off with a scalpel or zap it with a laser. All my worries were for naught. He took one look at it and said, "oh it's a pimple."

Awesome, I'm 26, finally done with zits and break-outs (most days anyway) on my face and now I can get them on my eyes! YESSSSSS!

He proceeded to try to pop it for me with his finger first, and then with a long Q-tip. He couldn't do it. He told me I should put hot compresses on it in the morning and at night before I go to bed and "work at popping it...I mean expressing it." Last night my eye-zit decided to take the advice of Madonna and express itself after I "worked at it" with a hot compress. It was very freeing. No more white bubble eye!

I know, I'm sick.

Prank Calls

I love to make Prank Calls. Yes, yes, I know...26 years old and likes to make prank calls. You may think its sad, but you're wrong. Its fun. I love to trick people with my voice. I can imitate an iffeminate man very well and it has given me many hours of entertainment. Here are a few prank calls from the vault:

(when Kent was working at the hockey store)
ME: "Hi, my name is Jason. How much are your hockey masks?"

(calling a friend's friend who was working at Victoria's Secret)
ME: "Hi, I was just wondering if you hire black people?"
GIRL: "yes."
ME: "Do you hire Indian people?"
GIRL: "yes."
ME:"Do you hire elderly people?"
GIRL: "yes." (now, a little annoyed)
ME: "Well, do you hire people who are a little bit woman and (in a deep man's voice) A LITTLE BIT MAN?"

(to many, many friends who lived in the dorms)
ME: "Hi, this is Wanda Butler from the Student Housing department."
PERSON: "Yes?"
ME: "You're ID card has an outstanding balance of $450."
PERSON: "What!!??"
ME: "Yes, I'll need you to stop by the housing office first thing tomorrow morning to take care of this."
PERSON: "well, that's stupid. I don't even use my ID card!"
ME: "Then there must be some error please stop by the office as soon as possible"
(they would continue to rant and rave about not oweing money until they said...)
PERSON: "Why are you calling students at 10:00 at night?"
ME: "Yes, well, we're very busy here. Please stop by in the morning." *click*

There have been many more, but I will stop here so as not to incriminate myself and reveal who it was that called you all those times. :) This is Old Nasty saying goodnight.

Save the drama for your mama and post!

It has been 7 days since my last posting.

Someone brought a HUGE box of See's Chocolates to my office. OH MY GOODNESS!!! They are so good and I cannot stop eating them. At least today I waited until after 12:00 to have one. Yesterday I started early. I just can't stop. Just when I think I'm done, they pull me back in.

I have been eating the gassiest foods lately: chilli, baked beans, sour kraut...poor, poor Kent.

Today I dressed for Summer. Wishful thinking, I guess. It was cold and so were my toes.

Oh! AND GUESS WHAT!! We're going to go to Festival International de Louisiane this year! Yay!! I absolutely love Festival International. I can get many hours of dancing in..oh so fun. Kellie and Gene, you kids should come in too. It's April 26th -30th.

And one more thing before I go...

Coca, my dog-child, escaped from the hallway one day while we were at work. I thought she'd managed to behave herself and even considered not putting her in the hall during the day anymore. Well, I kept smelling something funky while I was working on a vanity that I'm refinishing. It didn't smell like poop or pee...just funky. So, I finished what I was doing and got ready to go to bed. I reached over to turn off the lamp by the couch and saw that Coca had left a Tootsie Roll on KENT'S BRAND NEW RAIN JACKET! I couldn't help but laugh a little, even though I did feel bad for Kent. I told Kent about it, cleaned it up and went to bed.

A couple of days later, it was raining so Kent brought his rain jacket to work. When he came home , he set it on the floor in the Living room and went in the spare room to do his school work. Soon he heard Coca scratching on something. He walked in the living room and there she was..in her hump-back pooping position leaving a present on his jacket again. Poor, poor Kent, indeed.