I think I'm in Love

There are two new (or at least new to me) products that I am head over heels for.

Definitely Number 1 has to be Kettle Corn! It is so good! It's sweet and salty which is perfect for me so I don't have to get stuck in my never ending cycle of eating something sweet, then wanting something salty, then eating something salty, then wanting something sweet. Kettle Corn is my favorite food right now.
“Sweet and salty; two opposites make the perfect pair.”— Tim Treats, Cornfield Daily

Number 2 is the Magic Bullet. I was enthralled by the infomercial and waited anxiously for the price. Which, much to my dismay, was more than I was hoping for (it's only 3 easy payments of $33.33). This thing is awesome! It makes smoothies, chops cheese, grinds coffee beans and makes juices and does gobs of other things that I don't remember! I can't even do it justice. You need to see the infomercial. I don't currently own the Magic Bullet, but when they start selling it at Walgreen's for $19.95, I'll be first in line.

The Results Are In!

After an overwhelming voter turnout (7 people :-) the poll results have been tallied.

TLC's "What Not to Wear" where they secretly tape someone all week and then tell them they dress horribly then show them how to dress well....
Received 0% of the vote.

"E" network's "Diary of an Affair" which chronicles a person's affair and how it affected their spouse, friends and family....
Received 14% of the vote.

Spanish Network's "Gana la Verde", contestants do things like eating worm burritos to win a year's legal help in getting their green card....
Received 29% of the vote.

MTV's "I Want a Famous Face" in which people will have plastic surgery to look like their favorite celebrity....
Received 57% of the vote.

I hate paying for parking

Well, it turns out "Professional Jessica" isn't so scary after all. I've gone on two interviews this week and both of them want me to come in for a second interview. One of them is the one that I thought I scared my interviewer. I like that job more than the other, but I'm trying them both. So, I guess what seems like agressive behavior to me is just the norm in the "business world". That makes me nervous about working.

"Oh, you haven't been through Navy Seal training? Then I just really don't think you have what it takes to order our office supplies."

Okay. So, lately the theme of the "I'm sorry we went with another candidate for the job" schpeel has been "You're too young", "I think you lack the maturity for this position" or "I just don't think you're tough enough." Come on people! I'm not asking you to make me a bouncer at a nightclub! I didn't realize I needed to go through boot camp to answer a phone and greet your clients. So, anyway I decided for my interview today I would be "tough, mature" Jessica. I don't think it worked out. I think it was more like "angry, scary, I will wait for you in the parking lot" Jessica. I made my voice be just a tad lower (because when I get nervous my voice turns into 8-year old Jessica) and I tried to act confident by making eye contact the whole time. (My eyes sort of look like they're going to pop out of my head if I'm interested in something and I was definately interested in the job). However, I got the feeling that she thought I was staring her down or trying to intimidate her. She kept looking away from me. I really wasn't trying to be intimidating. I just wanted to appear confident and professional with a "can-do" attitude (that was a job requirement). Instead I think I appeared to be agressive and angry, with an "I will cut you if you don't give me this job" attitude.

So, basically, I don't know how to go into an interview anymore. If I'm myself, I seem like a child who's not mature enough to do the job. If I'm professional (in my mind anyway), I seem like person in need of a psych evaluation.

Maybe tomorrow I will apply at a certain fabric and craft store for holiday help. Hopefully I will be tough enough and have the maturity level that is needed to direct someone to the sequins in the midst of restocking the buttons.

The Girl Who Grew the Golden Hair

I have some concerns about my large amounts of hair loss (I know some of you reading this share my concern), so I frequently inspect my head for bald spots. As of yet, I haven't found any bald spots (phew!). I have found something interesting though. On a few separate occasions I will see a hair that is a different color from the rest of my brown hair. So, at first I think its gray...bummer. Then I decide to pull it out for further examination. Its then that I realize that the hair is not gray at all, but it's GOLDEN. Its also very, very shiny, sort of like brass or something. This is a good thing. If my hair is going to turn golden instead of gray then I am totally okay with that, but somehow I really don't think that will happen. So, I'll just enjoy my golden hairs while I have them.

OH! Or maybe I can sell my golden hair or spin it into yarn like Rumplestiltskin did with the straw!

This is so funny!

I crack up laughing everytime I see this: Screaming Banshee

I'm Not This Desparate For Work

Here are some kind of scary ads I've come across during my job search. I claim no responsibility for these, so please don't apply for them!

Personal Errand

I need a cellular phone with a New Orleans area code. I am looking for someone to procure such a phone. This is a no questions asked position. You will be compensated for the phone and your trouble. Reply for more information.

Errands needed done - $30

I need someone to send an e-mail for me. You will need to make a new, unnamed web-mail account (such as hotmail or yahoo) and send an attachment for me from a public computer (internet cafe or library in New Orleans). Then I will need you to send a letter via a post-office within New Orleans. This is a no questions asked assignment for which I will pay $30. I will send you details only if I decide to hire you. Payment is non-negotiable

Lifestyles of the Broke and the Fameless

Due to this week's job related events (going to more interviews and being turned down) and catching up the budget I was reminded that anything Kent and I do to entertain ourselves better be free! Here are a few things that keep us entertained without costing us any money.

1. Going to the Library and looking at books and magazines. Why buy a magazine when we can have a free subscribtion to 200 different magazines!
2. Going to the Library and renting movies. Sure, the new releases are often checked out, but we can reserve them online and as soon as the movie comes in the Library calls us.
3. Feeding the Geese, Ducks, Cranes and Nutria at the Park. Any time my grandparents have old bread they're going to throw away, Kent and I save it to feed to the birds and Nutria (If you've read Kent's blog you'll know how much fun we have with the Geese).
4. Going for walks at the park. We like to look at all the dogs people have (I really want a dog). We watch the people playing Soccer or Football. One time we watched a wedding rehersal thinking it was some type of show!
5. Going for bike rides. I ride my old bike that I got when I was 11 and Kent rides my dad's bike that he got in 1965. It's a really cool bike though. One of those with the fenders over the wheels (If you've read my blog about the bike incident, then you know how exciting bike riding can be).
6. Walking around at the mall. We go in stores and read t-shirts, or bumper stickers. We play guess the name of this scented candle. We go in stores and say "Oh, this would be a perfect gift for so and so!" (of course, so and so, you will never get any of these gifts because they're too expensive). We play with the stuff at the Discovery Store.
7. Watching the "Wheel of Fortune"! We are actually in the Wheel Watcher's Club.
8. Playing Games.
9. Looking at stuff on the internet. We LOVE the internet! Right now it's free because we're at my grandparents' house.
10. Doing our individual hobbies. Kent plays Game Cube games and I crochet. My grandma had a whole bag of old yarn she didn't need, so I can make new projects all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to buy something at the mall or rent a Blockbuster movie, but I'm just as happy doing our free stuff! Since Kent's in school now, our free fun will have to last for a while. Hey, at least right now we have cable! Woo hoo! We didn't have it at our old apartment and we probably won't at our new apartment either. So, here I can watch all the really bizarre reality shows like, "Growing up Gotti," "The Surreal Life," and "Dr. 90210." Plus, I can watch 7th Heaven three times a day on ABC Family....but I don't.

b

Tightwad Gazette

This is my favorite book right now. Its called The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn. It "Promotes thrift as a viable alternative lifestyle." It was a monthly newsletter that she sent out for years and then compiled it into several books. This particular edition has 3 books in 1, I think. Some of the ideas are a little far fetched, but most of them seem reasonable. I actually got this book for my birthday in June, but, much to my dismay, I accidentally packed it up and put it in storage with the other books. So, since I won't be seeing my copy until we move out, I checked it out from the library today. Anyway, I just wanted to recommend the book to anyone looking for ways to cut costs.

Profile Pic

The picture in my profile was our 2003 Christmas Card.

Smurfs, Raccoons and Bathrooms

When Kent and I got married I realized something about him that I never knew...

He talks in his sleep all night long! When we first got married I couldn't even sleep through the night. I had to start wearing earplugs so that I could sleep. Now that I've gotten used to it, its just funny to me. Over the last two and a half years some pretty funny things have happened while one or both of us were sleeping. Here are just a few highlights.

Two nights ago I stayed up watching TV and Kent fell asleep. Just as I turned off the TV and rolled over to sleep I heard Kent laughing, "Huh, huh ha." So, I said, "What's so funny?" No response. More laughter, "Huh, huh ha." Again I asked, "What's so funny?" This time he responded, "That smurf, ha ha." Of course I asked, "What smurf?" Kent said, "He keeps trying to drink his water, ha ha ha, but someone keeps knocking it out of his hands, ha ha." I then started laughing, because it's very funny to me that my husband dreams about smurfs. :) Of course, when I asked him if he remembered dreaming any thing he didn't remember a thing about it.

A while back when we lived in our old apartment another pretty funny incident happened. I was having a nightmare that a raccoon was on the bed. So I was screaming and trying to climb off the bed (I really was crawling towards the side of the bed trying to get off). Only I couldn't move my legs because the raccoon was too heavy... meanwhile...Kent was dreaming that I was being sucked away by a tornado and he was trying to save me by holding onto my legs (he was actually holding onto my legs). Suddenly, we both woke up and realized I was halfway off the bed and Kent was holding me down. Then we told each other about our dreams and laughed at how weird we are. No wonder I couldn't get up, I had a 6 foot raccoon (also known as my husband) holding on to my legs!

On a different occasion, I started asking questions while he was sleep talking and in the middle of us talking he said, "I really have to go to the bathroom, but the line is way too long." I said, "The last time I was there no one was in line." Then he said, "Well, a whole bunch of people just ran and got in line!" Then I started laughing and he woke up and said "What are you doing?" Then he got up and went to the bathroom. Once again he remembered nothing in the morning.

There are many more stories, but this post is getting pretty long, so I'll spare you.

Kent, you are so funny when you sleep, thanks for entertaining me. Y

Oh, the Library.

I have a new favorite thing here. It's the Library. We have the nicest library I've ever seen here. I go there 2 or 3 times every week. They have books (of course), videos, dvds, cds, magazines and a coffee shop! And it's all free (well, except for the coffee shop). Since I have no job and we're not exactly the Hilton's right now, we are frequently checking out free movies from the library. AND IT DOESN'T COST $5, like the video store.

There is one problem.....

It never, ever, fails. When I go to the library. I will look around and get a big stack of books and movies. Then right in the middle of looking at books. I get an upset stomach (seriously, every single time I have been in this library this has happened). So, I have to leave my books either with Kent or on a table and rush to the bathroom. I know the people that work there must think I have no bathroom at home, or else I'm afraid to use my home bathroom, because I do this every time I'm there. What's funny is that the very same thing happens to me at Barnes and Noble. It's so strange! I mean am I just so excited about all the books that I lose control of my bowels? Are there just to many choices and it stresses me out? Am I allergic to pages and words? I wish I knew what the problem was. It certainly would make my trip more pleasant.

Nevertheless, I'm so glad the library is here. It's just a building full of free fun for me. (Free, except that my grandpa says he's been paying taxes on it for years so he's glad someone is enjoying it.)

If you live in London and you are free tomorrow, then this is for you!

Flash Mob Pillow Fight

Is it too much to hope for a job that doesn't make me wish I was in traction with a broken leg?

I need a job. I know I won't be able to do what I really love because what I'd be doing is painting and sculpting and creating things. However, I don't think I'd ever make enough money to even pay the electric bill. It would be nice to have a job that allowed for even some creative freedom, but so far I haven't interviewed for any of those. So, I want something I can tolerate. It doesn't have to be perfect, but I do have some requirements:

1. I don't want to have barbeque sauce smeared all over my shirt and be cursed at for being out of onion rings and ribs.
2. I don't want to catch pink eye and a cold every other week from being with 200 kids a day (that's the job that made me wish for an injury).
3. I don't want to be required do my boss's kid's homework for her (apparently the job I was doing was less important than a high schooler's homework).
4. I don't want to even contemplate carrying my jewelry in my mouth for fear of being mugged or even killed for it as I leave work(that's a whole other story)!

So, I've accepted that I will take another job that I will be tired of within a month and I will be thankful for it. I'll make the best of it and hopefully it will inspire some funny stories that I can act out when I see you all. I'll work with a whole new cast of characters that I can imitate and it will make me laugh to myself when I see my co-workers doing the things that I imitate when I'm at home. Finally, I will do my art on the side. Hopefully, I'll find a shop or market here that would be interested in selling some of my pieces. And I will continue being the Happy Jessica that I usually am. :)

For those who can't stand to waste...

For those of you who don't know, I don't like to throw anything away. (That's why we have so much stuff when we move) Sometimes I actually take stuff out of other people's trash because I just can't believe they're throwing that perfectly good (or somewhat good, at least) item away. Well, I'm always looking for uses for everyday items that I throw away. Here are some that I found today on the internet. I haven't tried them yet, so I claim no responsibility. :-) Check them out if you want.

• Plastic Grocery Bags - The Bag Bed - I would really like to try this

As as sidenote for those who are interested, I found this out about the bagbed:

"This project originated from a closet full of plastic bags and idle hands. The very first night it was clear that this would be a perfect bed for a homeless person, warm and cushiony. The first bagbed was given to a local homeless woman in January who reported that it is suprisingly warm. Since then teachers and schoolchildren, retirement homes, disabled adults, girlscouts, and ordinary folks have joined the effort."

"The bagbed was awarded a $2,000 prize by The American Plastics Council in April, 1998 for the Single Most Unusual Reuse Idea."

• Tea Bags - Save the tea leaves from tea bags and use as fertilizer for plants. Roses love tea leaves. ( or so I read today)
• I always wanted to find something to do with those little paint sample squares. You can decorate a frame.
• Replace a missing zipper pull with a twist tie (we always have like a thousand of these lying around and I don't want to throw them away, so I better find alot of broken zippers)
• Use the wire inside a twist tie to repair eyeglasses in a pinch
• Place used coffee grounds around plants. They make wonderful fertilizer. ( or so I read today)
• Freeze meatballs by placing one in each of the holes of an egg carton. Seal, then put into the freezer.
• Store premade pancake mix in a milk carton. It can be stored in the refrigerator for up to a week.
• Tie two laundry baskets together to make a dog-travel cage in a pinch.
• Throw an old shower cap on the bottom of hanging plants to catch dirt and drips. Remove and rinse when it's time for their next watering.
• Fill milk carton with water, submerge whole fish and put in the freezer to store until needed.
• Use plastic lids as coasters, mini-cutting boards or stencils.
• An unwanted candle makes a great pincushion.

I hope this was somewhat informative. If not, sorry. :-( I've got a cold today. If you have some reuse ideas to share, be sure to let me know. :-)