I'm Not This Desparate For Work

Here are some kind of scary ads I've come across during my job search. I claim no responsibility for these, so please don't apply for them!

Personal Errand

I need a cellular phone with a New Orleans area code. I am looking for someone to procure such a phone. This is a no questions asked position. You will be compensated for the phone and your trouble. Reply for more information.

Errands needed done - $30

I need someone to send an e-mail for me. You will need to make a new, unnamed web-mail account (such as hotmail or yahoo) and send an attachment for me from a public computer (internet cafe or library in New Orleans). Then I will need you to send a letter via a post-office within New Orleans. This is a no questions asked assignment for which I will pay $30. I will send you details only if I decide to hire you. Payment is non-negotiable