June 16th!!!! What??!!

I just realized I haven't posted since June 16th. So, I figured its time. Here's what's been going on:

Today people found my blog by searching for:
"sharks blog Destin"
"Jessica's Hiccups"
and "It's Bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S"

I found out Thursday that I'm being promoted at work. I'm being promoted to Assistant Property Manager. I'm pretty excited. Although, work gets harder every day. I don't know if I have a touch of a stomach virus or if it's just stress, but in addition to my usual gastroinstinal problem (I'll spare you all), I've been making a lot of trips to the potty (well my usual problem increases with stress too). I also have a new boss. With the promotion, I think Kent and I are finally going to break down and get the internet at home. Maybe...

Kent and I are going to Lafayette this weekend to see our new niece. We'll actually get to stay until Monday because of Independence Day. So, that'll be good.

Also, I have had a very gradual birthday. I've been celebrating with different people since Tuesday of last week and the celebration still hasn't ended. I wil still have birthday with my family when I go see them.

In August we will have been living in N.O. for a year. Time sure goes faster and faster. I guess that means that my life just gets better and better. I think it would drag by if I didn't enjoy it.

I saw my first giant New Orleans roach in the house today. It was the size of a three-year-old child and was reading the paper and smoking a cigarette. I was very, very, grossed out, but I mustered up enough courage to hit it with Kent's shoe and then spray it with foam cleaner.

If any of you have every ridden in my car you know it's a health hazard. Every crevis is filled with grossness and pennies are actually stuck by some sticky substance in the arm rests. I have a new "Stop Light Cleaning Program." I have tooth picks, paper towels, bleach spray and a trash bag in the car. Any time the car stops I get to cleaning. It already looks great.

Lately I've been making this sound with my throat because it makes Kent crack up laughing. He says I look like a maniac when I do it. I just like to do it because I get a laugh. Anything for a laugh right?

Finally, our sign vendor came in my office today and I said, "oh, my desk is a wreck. I haven't cleaned it off today." He told me not to worry because his is worse. Now, that must be bad, because my desk always looks like the copier vomitted on it. It made me feel a little better about my crazy desk knowing that someone else's desk was even worse than mine.

Goodnight.

So, I just had to share...

I noticed my counter had reached more than 3,000 visits, so I decided to look at some of my statistics. I thought this was pretty funny, someone found my blog by searching on yahoo for "blues clues is gay". I guess all because I had that post about dressing like blues clues! Funny...

To the tune of the ever-so-popular "Happy Birthday to You"

Happy Birthday to Kent

You mail in the rent

You do all the dish-ezzzzzz

Now make birthday wishes!

(I said NOW)

And many more...
Love yas!

Compelling Evidence

For those of you who don't know, my crazy Kenty's birthday is this Thursday. He'll be 29! Then 11 days later I'll be 26. I can't believe I'll be 26. I can still see my 16th birthday in live action color when I think about it. I don't really stress out about being older. You're only as old as you feel, right? Right. Since I will now be closer to 30 than to 20 (well, actually I've been closer to 30 for the last 6 months) I've decided to compile a list of evidences that I am actually not 26.

I am not 26 years old because...

• I'm scared of the dark
• I can eat just candy for dinner
• I will eat candy before I even roll out of bed in the morning
• I laugh the hardest at a good poot!
• I rent teen movies
• I call my mom "mommy"
• I can still sleep till noon
• My parents give us food when we leave their house
• I love to make prank phone calls
• I dance like a fool
• I don't brush my teeth every day
• I hate to bathe / shower
• I hate going to bed
• I get the giggles on a regular basis
• I fall down (actually onto the ground) like once a month
• I don't like to drink water (ack! I'm partially allergic, just ask Kent)
• I love "Full House"
• I'm not a "grown-up"

So, there you go.

In other news...

Work is crazy right now.

I had to cut all my nails because the kept breaking.

Kent got his hair cut really short.

Jello makes me gag.

Coca is sassy. She talks back to us.

Disclaimer: One of the above listed statments is not true.

The Big Idea: It's real and it's ready to rumble

My newest big idea is for a restaurant. Anyone want to be an investor? I think people would love it!

Other big ideas: (These are just the titles. Of course I can't describe them or they'll get taken. Not that I'll really ever do anything with them anyway)

• Toilet Tent
• Cell Phone / Radio (already done :( I'm too late)
• Baby Bud
• Movin' It

I've just gotta win that power ball to get these ideas in production! Although that's highly unlikely seeing as how I've only bought like one ticket in my life. Anyway, if you know any rich investors, send them my way. :-) I'll be glad to fill their heads with invention and business ideas.

Gamey

So, this Saturday Kent and I are auditioning for the WHEEEEL OOOOF FORTUNE! It will at least be fun to audition even if we don't make it. We have to go to the Wheelmobile at Harrah's.

Speaking of Wheel of Fortune...
Once when I was a kid we had a little family reunion in Columbia, LA, which is near monroe. I heard my aunt tell my mom that she saw Pat Robertson at the hotel. I remember thinking, "Cool! The guy from wheel of fortune!" Years later, when my brain had developed further, I realized that Pat Robertson is not the guy on "Wheel" that would be Pat Sajack.

BTW...Everyone read Kent's blog to hear something funny that happened this weekend!

Tid bits about me:
I have to wear mosquito repellant in the house...
At our old apartment I once killed 27 flies in one day. Then I freaked out...
I came home from work the other day to hear from Kent, "Jessica, I think your pants have a split in the back"...
Coke doesn't taste as good when you drop the can on your toe before you drink it...
A yellow jacket once chased me across the yard. I jumped in the pool. It waited for me and stung me on the back of the neck when I came up for air. Then it got stuck in my hair. As I ripped it out of my hair it stung me on both index fingers.

Oh yeah...

"Big Brother 6" starts on July 7th! Woo Hoo! It may make me a tad bummed though. Back when we were in Lafayette, the friend group would get together and watch it. No more of that though. We're not even all in the same time zone anymore. We'll just have to link all of our cell phones after the show to vent.


I'm also excited about the Martha Stewart Apprentice. I think I would like to be her Apprentice. That would be better than Donald Trump's Apprentice.


I watched "Dancing with the Stars" more appropriately called "Gagging me with a Wooden Spoon." Don't worry you didn't miss anything, except "Mr. Peterman" doing an excellent waltz.


"Trading Spouses: Meet your new mommy" wasn't all that great this week either. Kind of boring. I actually like "Wife Swap" better because it's not continued over 2 weeks. I cannot stand to wait.


"I Want a Famous Face" had a girl trying to look like Posh Spice because she wants to be a hair model. Ambitious.


Unfortunately I missed "Britney and Kevin Chaotic" this week. My week really suffered because of that. I mean how could I even survive without hearing Britney say "what if my nose looked like this" while pushing her nose up like a pig. And creepy Kevin...I may need to see some internet clips to get my fix. Only Fox's new "Prince's of Malibu" could possibly top this one.

Anyway, now you know I'm addicted to reality shows. And I like it.

It's Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Yeah well, I usually can't stand anything that comes out of Gwen Stefani's mouth, but I cannot get that song out of my head! "Cuz I ain't no holla back girl...."Somebody help me.

Lost

Kent and I watched the first episode of Lost last night. We thought we'd give it a try since everyone seems to be hooked. I'm not so sure I'm hooked. If whatever the giant thing in the jungle is happens to be a dinosaur, I'm definitely not hooked. I am not interested in dinos and humans mixing on an island. That is vulgar! Just kidding. Not vulgar, I don't know why, I'm just not into a dinosaur show.

Kirstin and I went to visit Stacey and Jeremy in Destin last week. It was a lot of fun. I rode in Kirstin's shiny new car. We paid $1,000,000 tolls. That rocked. I have a very burnt chest. Actually now its just itchy. Coca was really excited to see me when I got home. It's like snuggling a wild squirrel really. I am going to post updated pictures by the way.

Oh and Sugarland relatives (I didn't want to give away your real names in case you didn't want me to) I'm excited about ya'll being in town at the end of June. That'll be fun!!

New Orleans is stinkin hot! The humidity is so bad that the doors to our house are swollen! We have to bust in like the cops on SVU everytime we get home! I really just don't know what to do about that. Guess I'll just keep bustin' in until I bust the door down. Then we'll have no doors and that will be fabulous. (not really)