Questions from a Comedien

I once heard a comedien ask why, with all of the technological advances of the 21st century, can someone not invent something better than tennis balls for the elderly to put on the back feet of a walker. Of course I cracked up laughing, thinking that was so true!! Hilarious! Today, however, with the power out for many hours I thought about why indeed isn't there something better than tennis balls for walkers. Maybe I should invent something. Upon further thought I decided there may just be a real reason for not making something like that. The whole purpose of a walker is to steady a person who has trouble walking, right? The purpose of putting those tennis balls on a walker is to make it slide more easily, right? Now, if someone already has trouble walking do you really want to make their walker slide easily? I mean, there they are trying to pull themselves out of their recliner and ... whoops! The walker and the person go sliding across the floor because the back feet of the walker have no grip. To me, tennis balls on a walker may not be a great idea after all. I think it sounds like any company that would produce something like this may have a lawsuit on their hands. I did find a company that made a product to help walkers slide though. I guess it really just depends on the capabilities of the person using the walker.

Anyway if you just have tons of extra tennis balls and don't want to use them to help the elderly in their wish to slide here are some other interesting uses I've found on the internet:

• Store valuables. Make a two-inch slit along one seam of a Wilson Tennis Ball, then place valuables inside. If you hide the doctored tennis ball among your other sports equipment, remember not to use it.

• Fluff your down jacket in the dryer and reduce static cling. Throw in a handful of Wilson Tennis Balls to fluff the down while the jacket is tumbling in the dryer.

• Childproof the sharp corners of furniture. Cut old Wilson Tennis Balls in half or quarters and use Scotch Packaging Tape to tape the sections over sharp corners of coffee tables, end tables, cabinets, dining room tables, and other pieces of furniture that might be dangerous to a small child. Plus your house will really be high style with tennis balls on all your furniture corners.
  

• Make parking cars in your garage easier. Hang a Wilson Tennis Ball on a string from the garage ceiling so it will hit the windshield at the spot where you should stop your car.

• Prevent a chrome trailer hitch from getting scratched. Slit a Wilson Tennis Ball and put it over the trailer hitch as a protective cover. That would look awesome on a loaded Ford F250...the tennis ball would really bring out the rugged character of the truck.
  

• Give yourself a foot massage. Roll your foot over a Wilson Tennis Ball.

• Make a back massager. Put several Wilson Tennis Balls inside a sock and tie at the end. This is frequently used by the labor coach to massage the back of a woman in labor.

• Remove cobwebs from unreachable places. Wrap a Wilson Tennis Ball inside a dust cloth secured with a few rubber bands, then toss at the distant cobweb. I don't know why housekeepers all over the US aren't jumping on this one.
  

• Play "basket tennis." Remove the bottom from an empty coffee can, and nail the can above the garage door. Use a Wilson Tennis Ball to play basketball.

• Strengthen your grip. Squeeze a Wilson Tennis Ball in each hand.

• Prevent snoring. Sew a Wilson Tennis Ball inside a pocket on the back of your pajama top to prevent you from sleeping on your back. Prevent snoring - Produce Anger
  

• Prevent a deck chair from slipping through the cracks of a dock. Slit four Wilson Tennis Balls and fit them on the feet of the deck chair.

• Keep your car door open without wasting the battery. Wedge a Wilson Tennis Ball into the door jamb to depress the interior light switch.