Gummaddiction

At my job we're divided into two offices: East and West. I work in the East office. The West office had a competition for their residents in which they had to guess how many Easter Egg gum balls were in this vase that was probably about 24" tall and as big around as a gallon of milk. Turned out, there were 546 gums in there. Well, I think I've eaten 538 of them. I can't stop! It's like I'm a chain smoker only I'm a chain chewer! I chew two pieces at a time for no longer than 2 minutes, spit it out and then chew new ones. I start at about 10:00 AM and I have to follow the same pattern each time. Two yellows, two blues, two pinks, two whites and then the pattern repeats itself. Everyday I say, "Absolutely no gum today" and then I eat, literally, I'm not exaggerating, 30 to 40 pieces. It's a sickness and I'm not down with it. My gums on one side of my mouth are sore and I feel a weird crater in one of my molars. It's destroying my life! Soon I'll be loitering outside of convenience stores asking customers to lend me 88 cents for some gum, I'll hide out in the office bathroom just to get my fix with no one noticing, I'll wake up in a pile of my own gum not knowing how I got there and who's gum I was chewing. Finally, I'll hit rock bottom when a gum fix goes wrong and ends up in Kent's hair. It will never be the same once I hurt someone I love becuase of my need for gum...

Help me blog readers, you're my only hope!