Cell Phones are AWESOME!

Dear Cellphone,

After 10 years together, I felt like I needed to write to you and say thank you. I'd like to say thank you for making my life so much easier. I'd like to thank you for taking care of me when I need you...when my car broke down, I turned to you; when I was lost in New Orleans, I turned to you; when I needed to look busy to avoid talking to someone, I turned to you. I'd like to say thank you for all of this...

BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CAN'T!
BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID!

Instead, I'd like to thank you for allowing me to hear my own voice echoing back to me when I try to call my mom. Thank you for only letting me hear about 1/2 of what anyone is saying when they call me. Thank you for making it IMPOSSIBLE to call anyone during a hurricane evacuation. Thank you for breaking your stupid little ear piece and only allowing me to hear through you on speaker phone. You really made me some close friends with that one. Because of that everyone in Wal-Mart now knows all my business. Thank you, thank you, thank you for suddenly going silent during my phone calls and then coming back on in just enough time for the person I'm talking with to hear, "UGH!!! I HATE YOU STUPID PHONE!!! PIECE OF JUNK!!!" Thank you for sending me voicemails 2 days after the caller left the message. Thank you for not allowing me to order pizza because all the person can hear is, "I li-- t- der- er-ni--za." Thank you for still not working well even after I bang you on the steering wheel a few times. Thank you for tricking me and everyone else into thinking if we talk louder that the person on the other end will hear more clearly. Most of all, I'd like to thank you for dropping my calls, because after a long day at work there's nothing like venting about your co-workers to a dead phone WITH NO ONE ON THE OTHER END!!!

Thank you cell phone. You are awesome and one day I'm going to smash you.

Sincerly,
Jessica